And maybe I seem a bit confused, Yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!

I just finished ironing a load of laundry with Frasier Crane keeping me company. It is raining outside, and when it rains here, it pours! I live on the 14th floor of a 15 floor condo and usually at this time, I have my chai as the night line of the city and the suburbs come to life. But right now, all I see coming to life is the thunderstorm outside. I had to rush out for a bit to pick up the laundry we left out to dry and I had to struggle to do it and then to get back into the house. I am bang in the middle of clouds making space for the water to pour with such insane fury that it is almost scary. Scary, and yet awesome. 

I am not sure how long this home bird bliss will last but for now, there is nowhere else I'd rather be. This feeling of seeing the clouds break into a mad rush of rains every other evening, of being able to watch the sunset, and the night line coming to life, the solitude that the call bell does not disturb and the peace that comes from being pretty far away from everything familiar - nothing beats it. Definitely not a job. Not right now. Not for a few more weeks. God knows I deserve this easy paced blissful vacation inside the four walls of a place I now call home. I am afraid I could get used to this.

Title courtesy- Frasier soundtrack. Why? Because as you can see, there is an unambitious, solitude loving, peaceful person inside me. And she strives for attention every now and then, when I take the time to see outside the madness with which I let work possess me. Yeah, I do seem a bit confused but I got you pegged :p

Monsoon

It is hardly news that I love rains. There is something about them that calms me down and drives me insane like nothing else. You know the small happiness of elaichi chai, a good, old, long forgotten country song, an old photo album, a bike ride, some quiet time, a long and winding conversation, even how a wind cheater feels against your skin, the wind against your face, and those drops of awesomeness in your hair.. The romance in all of this comes from the incessant fury of rains. I don't know if there is a reason for this, but for me, no candlelit dinner comes close to the romance of a hardly unusual rainy Sunday. Even better if it is spent on a bike, chasing the wind, the steamed corn walla on the other side of the road, tapri ki chai, and youth. It is fresh and happy, it feels good. It makes me blue and makes me insanely happy at the same time. To me, rain is like love. Only love is awesome-r.

In other news, I am fast running out of things to say here. Blame the hardly coherent voices in my head. All the buzz around either don't let me hear them or leave me too tired to pay attention. I am thinking of a break, just so I don't feel like something is amiss if I don't update for a couple of weeks. My Kerala sojourn is less than two weeks away. I am sure I will have something to say when I am back. Or earlier.

I am around!

Good Friday

Husband, chai, bhel, aur baarish. After summer heat for me and work fire for him, a beautiful, rainy, and very Good Friday has finally arrived!

This post was not intended to hurt any religious sentiments. If you have been here long enough, you would know that my sense of humour is extremely lame.

I do need some education

Image courtesy - http://sgaissert.wordpress.com

Piyu tagged me in this post, and it got me thinking. Everyone around wants to learn something. I will be honest with you, I have never really wanted to learn anything. I am not kidding! I studied what I studied because I first thought it sounded cool, and then I wasn't allowed to quit. I could probably tell you things I have wanted to study - all "at that moment" sort of things. Journalism after watching Burkha Dutt (in her better days) on TV for an hour, policewoman after watching Udaan (the TV series I used to see when I was 6, not this recent movie that everyone's raving about and I hated - horrible acting!), psychology when I could not for the life of me "understand" people. Then I realised I never really cared! English literature when I thought I read/ wrote something I loved. The latter was subjected only to my opinion.

I wanted to learn how to draw once. That was only because I assumed it would help me pass Engineering Graphics.Until of course this friend of mine I strongly believed should have studied design instead of the uninteresting things we studied but never learned, also flunked the paper.

I have had my moments - photography, guitar, singing (I daydream about being able to sing in front of a bunch of people and getting a standing ovation. That is exactly what it is - a daydream. You have to hear me sing to believe it. Photoshop, even. But I don't think about it long enough. I once learned Kathak for some 3 years. Imagine! Quit one day because it was beginning to bore me to death. The fact that there were sudden rumours of my guru ji being involved in something illegal, made it easy for me to convince Ma. I had joined art classes, but that was only because my art teacher strictly thought I needed extra lessons to keep my brush within the margins. Even that was a tall order for me! I started playing drums in the school band. One week. Taek Won Do - 3 days. Singing. With harmonica, mind you. I never got beyond Sa. You can say that I don't have the discipline to learn anything. I can try to sound cool by saying that the theoretical first few days of learning something bore me enough to quit, and it might just be true. No wonder my college years were such a torture initially. Because of my complete, unapologetic inability to sustain the first few days of learning. But then again, what does education have to do with learning? (And that I really mean.)

There are things I want to learn. I am not sure if one can. Like shopping well. I shop. Not too expensive, nothing extraordinarily cheap. Most of my clothes are quite nice too. But they are all the same. Similar colours, similar patters. Cotton and denim. That is it. And I won't count the wedding sarees and salwaars, because they were all packed to perfection exactly one week after the wedding. There is hardly any variety in my wardrobe. I wish I could go on a shopping spree and find 5 pieces of clothing, all completely different from each other and from the ones I already own. Even if I buy a new top, it will look like one of the older ones. I don't know how I always end up doing this! How can unlearn this?

My patterns of love, hate, and indifference are extremely erratic. If I am let down by someone I REALLY care about, I just turn away. Indifferent. But it is the non entities I lose sleep over. I just need to know they are alive. That is enough to irritate me. Turn me into a bitter person. Irrespective of whether that person is around or not. And there is a chance that these people neither betrayed me nor personally did me any harm. What the hell! Another thing that I need to unlearn, and learn the opposite of. Only I don't know what the opposite is.

I want to learn how to really read something that is important but uninteresting. Rent agreements, bank letters, forms. I have the attention span of a... I don't know. I can't think of a simile. But I can never read anything important. Important to everyday existence that is. Except Marshall Goldsmith of course.

I want to learn how to weave magic with words. Be cryptic yet make sense. That is not my style (if I have one that is - I have an obsessive need to put this disclaimer every time I talk about style), I know. But I want to learn. And I know I can't. One can't learn something like that. Right?

I sound as (adorably) pompous as Frasier when I say this in my head, because I cannot relate it with the image I have of myself. Or the one that a lot of people who know me, have of me. Of late I have wanted to learn Indian History. Not study. Learn. I wish someone had taught me how to put history lessons in perspective back in school. As you grow up, you realise that a lot of your present finds its roots in history. School emphasized on that, but they never told us why or showed us how. The more I read/ watch TV shows, an odd NGC show, Saira Khan's Pakistan, Story of India, the more I want to get that elusive learn-all book of Indian History. Not a refresher course, there is nothing to refresh. (It is a strange feeling to have foreigners excite me about Indian History).

So that is that. Do you know who can teach me all those things? All except Indian History. Quick question - is learning always a result of teaching? I know the converse is not true.

On an aside, the weather is magical these days. Happy-sunny and happier-rainy in parts. I was reading Jhumpa Lahiri's Unaccustomed Earth for the 100th time (I have nothing else to read right now, and there are some books I keep going back to for no apparent reason). There are these lines that say something to the effect that the protagonist hasn't lived anywhere long enough to really belong. Beautiful lines, but I can't find them in the book right now. I felt a sudden connection to those lines. I have been so far for so long from the one place I ever belonged, that I no longer feel that sense of belonging. Go figure. And then I switched cities so often that I never grew roots. Same country, and yet such stark, in-your-face difference in cultures. That is a story for another day. I remember a time when people lived in a place for so long and left it even for vacation at such long intervals that they knew everything there was to know about a place. The people, the galis, the sabji mandis. Everything. I don't see that happening now. I think that is a good thing about small towns. Or bad.  I am now beginning to think Bangalore is going to be the place I eventually grow roots in. I will know this place like one knows home. It is not Bombay, so it is not even difficult. There are days when I have my doubts. But then one evening after a crazy day at work, I return home to an overkill of green and the aftertaste of a heavy shower. This is where the auto stops. In front of the gate of my building.

And suddenly I feel all my doubts melting away.

Wind of change

Staying in on a Thursday.
Adrak ki chai.
Pyaaz pakoda.
Rains.
Gulzar.
Aandhi.
S&G.
Carpenters.
Baadalon se kaat kaat ke.

What was just grey, gloomy weather yesterday is The Wind Of Change now.

Song of the moment - Tum aa gaye ho, noor aa gaya hai. The why bit here is a story for another day.

Kahaan se chale kahaan ke liye ye khabar nahi thi magar...

The Auntie Chronicles/ The Goddess of Small Things

Because I couldn't decide which one of the two headings was more accurate.

(If you are still pretending to be the kind of wife that doesn't need to be responsible for anything around the house (like I had been until a couple of months ago), just close this tab!)

(In almost 7 years of REGULAR blogging, I have finally managed to churn out my most boring, mundane, I-had-cornflakes-for-breakfast-it-is-a-sunny-day post EVER.)

Of late the quality of my posts has gone down the dumps? Why? I haven't had much to say. And things that I want to say are either already said on someone else's blog or I don't have the time (I have surprised myself at how often I have said this recently. Am I complaining? Hardly!) or the patience to write. Life has been awesomely and brilliantly busy of late, what with loads of interesting work, stuff around the house to be taken care of, so much of it carried over to weekends, and all the shopping and planning to do this month - an anniversary and a birthday (not mine!) and Fathers Day (call me cheesy, I celebrate everything) and a long overdue visit from my sis - I simply love June! R has been very busy at work, and I am finally beginning to understand what people mean when they say that handling both home and work isn't easy. However it is definitely not rocket science. I think we are managing quite well. So far so good!

One of the most awesome things in the world is to reach office in the morning and realise you are the first person to walk in. The first cup of office coffee in such amazing, and such unlikely silence is definitely the best way to kick start to the day. Highly recommended! There was a time when reaching office that early was a regular thing. Primarily to escape the rush hour crowd in the local train. But it's easy to do that when you have a bowl of steaming hot oats (yuck!) and a cup of chai waiting for you on the dining table when you decide to bless the world with your freshly bathed, awesome smelling self :P But now mornings are a rush - with R deciding to take on the world by cleaning every corner of the house early in the morning, and the overcome-with-guilt me try to match up by pretending to be very busy making chai. LOL! A word of gyaan - refusing to boot the laptop in the morning helps! No Facebook. No blogs. No gmail. Not that early in the morning for sure! Sigh! When did I grow up? :-)

I have a saviour for my morning rush - the new maid. Parbati. This girl from Nepal. I feel bad for her - she has just moved to Bangalore from her village in Nepal. She can't read time, speaks broken Hindi, and looks like the quintessential kanchi. I wonder just how lost she must feel in the big bad world. Tells me though that her husband helps her in the kitchen. Men have evolved. Such a pleasant far cry from Ma quietly listening to her domestic helps' woes of a drunkard, violent husband every other morning, quietly because those women didn't seem like they particularly wanted to change anything. That said, if Sholay was made in our day and age, I would have told my kids "beta so jao, subah subah fir Parbati didi aa jaayengi". Seriously! No matter how much I plead with her, be stern with her, she will always, without fail, come before I can even think of getting out of bed. And once she is in, the busy body starts turning the kitchen upside down, and I am not sure what I was thinking when I decided to live in a house with an open kitchen. While this is blessing in disguise on weekdays, it can be such a pain in the wrong place on a weekend when all you want to do is sleep in late. And she can't cut vegetables for peanuts. And I must tell you than bhindi torn from the centre doesn't taste half as good as one that is cut well. She is worse than me! I still like her. I must be crazy!

Has everyone watched Rajneeti? Prakash Jha, my dad, and R are all from the same school. So my otherwise hardly-movie-watching dad (That's new though, he has spent many afternoons doing back to back in Regal and Metro) saw the movie on the Friday that it released. And I, of the FDFS fame, the only one in my extended khandaan that still believes in the wonders of FDFS, hasn't seen the movie yet! Surprisingly, I am not depressed about it. Where is the time? But this Saturday I will have to. I really can't lose my identity in this mad rush of life (big words, no?), so what if my identity is primarily defined by the number of Bollywood masala movies I have seen on the first weekend. There is Rajneeti and Toy Story, and I am waiting for IHLS. And I missed Well Done Abba and its DVD is almost never available on seventymm and Big Flix. So I have a whole lot of back log to catch up on.

I finally managed to finish 3 seasons of Frasier, and I am glad I did. Even Niles is coming around now, I quite like him. Never thought I would, when I saw him in the first season. Which reminds me. Has any one of you watched Heroes? I started, and I couldn't survive the first couple of episodes. Am I missing something? What's the the fuss about?

I read something in the newspaper today, and I am raving mad. Most of the times it doesn't take much for people to drive me there, but this one I think is not one of those small things I over react at. I read Jeffrey Archer's interview in Bangalore Times this morning. And unless it is proved that this is case of yellow journalism, I am not going to read his books again. And no, this is not an excuse for not reading his books because I don't understand them. I don't remember if I do, because the last time I read Jeffrey Archer was in class 10. I think someone forced it upon me, I have never been so fond of suspense thrillers (that's what he writes about, right? See how much I know about him?). Except maybe Daphne Du Maurrier. Not sure if I will manage to survive her now too. See Mr Archer? You don't like India (I guess you are secretly afraid we will drive you back to your high and mighty phoren country, the Englishman that you are.), I don't like you. Case closed. Give me an Indian writing in English. Or Enid Blyton. Any day.

Which reminds me. I managed to finish all my Malory Towers. All the books I had that is. One of these days I will go book shopping again. Any recommendations? I already told you my preference, so. It was fun to revisit Darrel Rivers and group again. I never knew that the second series of Malory Towers was released last year - with Darrel's sister Felicity taking the lead. As is the case with all sequels, it is not as good as the first series. But the characters are nearly the same as Darrel's batch. The names are new though. So it helps. I liked it. There's nothing to not like.

Have you been watching the soccer WC? I prefer Indian Idol! But I gave in to the pressure after my FB homepage was full of self confessed "soccer freaks" (that only remember they like the game during WC - I think they watch it for the WAGs. I know all the abbreviations, see?). Then of course are the genuine ones. Some of my friends. They bunked/ reconsidered taking university exams because they had matches to watch all night. I say this passion for soccer in Indians comes from the lack of pressure to win. Cricket has been disappointing recently. Anyway coming back to succumbing to the pressure of watching soccer. I tried last night. But slept off. In a match between Italy and Paraguay, even I know who will win. Not Paraguay by a long shot, right? Let me go check. Ah! It was a draw. What do I know about soccer?

Am I the only one who has extremely annoying relatives on Facebook? The ones who dispense random gyaan that sounds like the back cover of the cardboard bound registers we used to scribble math sums on in school? Quotes on leadership and other such trivial matters in status updates. It gets annoying, doesn't it?

While we are on relatives (and friends), I have a new pet peeve. Why can't a married woman be low without being asked if she had had a fight with her husband? And why can't she fall sick without people asking her or secretly wondering if she is "carrying". Don't get me wrong, my fights with R make me miserable. But it helps that our fights don't last longer than a couple of hours. And no, we don't pretend to be the samajhdaar couple that doesn't sleep without resolving the fight. When we fight, we fight. And we are secure enough to know that neither of us will run off in the night if we don't resolve the fight before sleeping off at night. That said, if I am upset for a couple of days at a stretch, slim chance it is because of a fight. And if I am unwell for over 3 days, please be aware that I am absolutely non-immune to running noses and violent coughs. And much as I want to have kids, I am not "carrying". Yet.

Why can't we enjoy monsoons and pakodas and chai and all the bliss that comes with it without running the risk of catching a cold/ coughing for an entire week/ getting stuck in traffic for hours/ auto drivers demanding the moon to take you home (YOUR home, you dirty people!). Not that I have to deal with auto drivers too often now. Just saying. So the other day I was galivanting in the scorching heat, when the weather suddenly took a turn, and it rained. And the next day I was coughing and sniffing and considering going on sick leave. I didn't. But I remembered another era. When a bunch of us would take internal exams, then sit at a friend's house till 2:30 am, and then ride all the way to Mahabaleshwar on bikes that didn't have gears (to start with), and back, all in a matter of 15 hours. During the crazy Maharashtra monsoons. 15 hours of being drenched on the road. On bikes. I can only imagine how the wheel of the world would stop turning if I did that now. 2 hours, may be. 3 is good too. Not getting drenched and going on abnormally long drives in the pretty red ride we have - that would be something! We are getting old. OK R would not like it if I said this about him on a public forum - he is still my young and dashing Ranchi ka Rajkumar ;) I am getting old. Am I complaining, still? Not in the least :-)

Speaking of weather, I have been unbelievably lazy the last few days. I have been going through the motions of getting up, getting dressed, getting to work, cooking, and all that. But at the back of my mind I can only think of sleeping. Sleeping like there is no tomorrow. Sleeping at the risk of missing the little pleasures of watching the little maid of Nepal/ Mr Frasier Crane/ life in action. And I am not the only one. At the entrance of my office building, I see 3 dogs every single day. They don't move. I am not kidding you. You can do a hop, skip, jump, and they will just about open their eyes, look at you sleepily, and go right back to sleep. Ok now I am talking non sense.

Speaking of office buildings, is it just me that finds these sprawling tech parks a tad bit obscene, to say the least? I mean I am all for a comfortable office to work in. But the amount of land that is wasted on making these sprawling campuses in a country where wealth is not justly (that's a word, I just checked) distributed at all, for people to code comfortably, or make pretty PPTs, or whatever. It's all good. But whatever happened to that thing called practicality? Usability? Usefulness? I don't even particularly like the sprawling building societies, but I don't think I will be able to help living in one of them. I can avoid working in suburban tech parks. So far I have managed quite well. I like to be in the middle of all the action. Know what I mean? It is more about perspective I guess. The same contrasts make sure I am always in awe of Bombay. I respect Bombay for the same contrasts that I dislike Bangalore for. Do I have to think fairly all the time? Or at all? Do I even need to start explaining that I am right? Of course I am!

Coming back to my love for Bangalore (I mean it. This city is by far the best I have lived in. Even Bombay had its faults. I live in a house/ city where I can get pin drop silence when I want to, just when I want to. That says more about Bangalore vs Bombay than anything ever will), the weather is magical. My sister is coming here in a little over 2 weeks. And I have a birthday to celebrate and plan for in exactly 1 week+1 day.

Life's good? Couldn't be better!

:-)

P.S. - Did you actually read this load of crap? You must really love me!

Home is just a place..

Bombay has sea. And restaurants overlooking the sea. And amazing people.

Bangalore has R. And rains. And magical weather. And places like this.

Who do you think wins?

:)

Summer snow

The weather prediction on my desktop says "Snow" for Bangalore today. Why not? After Bombay, 21 degrees does feel as cold as snow to me! Especially at this time of the year. Be jealous, be very jealous!

I know.. I know. I am getting extremely repetitive :P

When I say "awesome" and aaaargh" together

Traffic kills in the morning, heat kills in the afternoon, awesome weather and clouds and breeze and rains kill in the evenings, mild fever and related delirium kill at night. Day after day. Night after night. The magic of Bangalore. I love it. I do!

P.S. I can't get over the forever changing weather here. Neither can my immune system :(

Perfect evening

I envy people who can sleep peacefully in the afternoon. That's how at least one of the two weekend afternoons are supposed to be. I have some sleepy afternoons too - few and far between. R on the other had can sleep anytime and wake up happy. My few afternoon naps make me very snappy in the evenings... 

This was what I was going to crib about when I thought of writing this post out of sheer boredom. But then look at the weather. Even I can't crib with the last bit of Saturday sunshine streaming into my house through the clouds. It's drizzling. And the plants in the balcony are as happy as me. I know I write about the weather nearly every weekend, but I can't get over how disciplined the Bangalore weather is. No matter how hot weekdays are, weekends are always rainy and pleasant. I love this city. I am lucky to be here. Irrespective of how much I crib about it. You win some, you lose some! But in Bangalore, you lose less, you win more, especially if you are the also the kind of person whose moodswings are guided by weather and weather alone. So here I am. Blogging. Happy. Surrounded by rain on one side, and orange and yellow cushions on the other. And the bright glass of Tang is looking at me with glee. And there is complete silence, something I am no longer used to. (In my defense, I did try to wake R up but he just won't budge!) The song of the moment... It was all yellow. This is one of my many "happy places"... Ones that I think of longingly through the rush of weekdays. Perfection.

The green green grass of home..

That's a quintessential rainy Bangalore evening for you, mark the stark contrast. How can I not love this city? I so do! Never mind the tech parks!

A typical romantic evening in the life of the Manis

I can hear the rhythm of the rain outside, it's a beautiful evening, balmy if you will (what on earth does that word mean anyway?). The Mishra-Manis are merrily preparing for a grand pasta and maalpua dinner (yes, yes, we will most probably treat you to such random combinations when you visit us. We like to spread joy to those we like.), and I'm singing my favourite Debbie Reynolds' of all times... Tammy.. Tammy.. Tammy is in love!

And then Smartie says, "pichhle janam mein aap morni hongi lagta hai"

To which I give him my trademark, "Hain!?"

Baarish hote hi naachne lag jaati hain...

*Sigh* Such is life.

Curtains drop.

P.S. - On an unrelated note, this is my problem. I know now. And I'm not even a CEO or anything remotely close to that! Marshall Goldsmith - the man who can make even lessons in self improvement sound sensible without sounding annoying. I love him!

Little drops of happiness

Dekho baarish ho rahii hai, it's raining...
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head...
Tip tip barsa paani...
I'm only happy when it rains...


You get my point, don't you? Yayyyyyyy!!! :D

Btw this one's for the place I still call home..