Friday, July 1, 2011

Growing up

4 years back, fresh from the wildness that was my college years, I moved to Bombay. And started living with parents again. And boy, what a (joy)ride it was! I was going through some blog posts from those times (nicely saved in notepad files because the blog does not exist anymore) and I wonder just how much was going on in my head then! There still is, but nostalgia has a charm of its own. Especially on a cozy Friday night at home. I am glad I have not really diverted much from all the things I learned and unlearned in those years. In all my life, those 2 and a half years in Bombay is all that has really mattered in making me the person I am (and I wanted to be). In every possible way - work, relationships, and "the way I roll (now)". I am starting a new tag today, 2007-2009. There is so much gyaan in those blog posts that I really think they should make their way back to the internet for the greater good of womanhood :P I will not edit anything, no matter how much it makes me cringe. Here goes the first rerun.

Mental peace is all about being able to maintain a balance between the extremes that we are so used to in life. A balance between work and pleasure, between being a complete workaholic and being able to take it easy... A fine balance between family responsibilities and much as I hate to call it that, "social life". This balance doesn't necessarily come into the picture when you talk about the bigger things in life. Of late I have noticed that it's the smaller, seemingly unessential, inconsequential things that really make a difference. Like finding the right balance between wild, crazy weekends and ones spent at home doing nothing in particular, giving your body the rest it unconsciously seeks after 5 stressed days at work. The balance between downright madness and laughter and uninhibited fun and those moments of quiet solitude, doing all the planning and thinking one needs to do, something that we cannot do without, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we can.

As we grow older, our periphery of acquaintances expands every minute and the core of those true, real, 3 am friends, decreases. The superficiality of relationships increases. But then again, more often than not, it's these superficial acquaintances that eventually help you network, something that is fast becoming indispensable in our world, especially as far as career moves are concerned. So again, the balance between networking with acquaintances and spending quality, "no hang ups" time with close, "real" friends...

Emotional attachments, yet another thing that screams attention when it comes to balancing. One of the most difficult things according to me is being able to find the right balance between being emotionally independent and letting your guards down and opening yourself up to hurt and despair. After all, you win some, you lose some. Acceptance doesn't come easy, especially in our world when we condition ourselves to these guards. But to find happiness, a lot of times these guards have to come down. Easier said than done, but that's the way it is.

And then comes the balance between holding on and letting go... Something I don't want to detail on, for reasons known best to me.

Somewhere between planning and dreaming about my future and getting nostalgic about my past, I was beginning to forget that I have a present that's completely mine. Probably the only thing in my life that I have complete control on. And I knew I had to balance it out... Again! It might sound funny coming from someone who had always been at extremes with everything and someone who never believed in shades of grey and always saw life only in black and white until a year ago, but I seem to have found my balance. Not the perfect one, but a balance nevertheless. The balance between being wise. And otherwise.

1 comment:

Open Ends said...

Yes. I agree. This post was all about growing up...