Monday, May 2, 2011

Two is company

"Just the two of you?" People ask me this quite often. A holiday plan, some weekend drinking, a restaurant outing, even a movie or a play, or when I summarize the "how was your weekend?" with "Fun!". Just the two of you? Hell yeah!

I am not sure who the oddball here really is. I remember going to movies alone years ago. It used to surprise my friends and classmates. I understood that, I knew that was oddball-ish behaviour, just not in my books. But now I am in good company. I have hung out in groups and it has been just the two of us, and somehow the "two of us" has been a lot of fun. A lot more fun, if I may add.

When I was going to get married, there was only one thing I was looking for. Camaraderie. You can blame it on Kuch Kuch Hota Hai releasing during my most impressionable years - the whole deal about friendship and love, if you know what I mean. So I wanted to make sure that the man I married was a friend more than a care-giver or primary beer winner of the household. He did turn out all of that too, but that's just my luck. If I don't have the funnest time with R, what is the point getting married at all in the first place? You get to know a lot of people in life, you are friends with a whole lot of them, you keep in touch with hundreds others, thanks to FB. But don't you marry the one who was the most compatible with you? That one person who is not your mirror image (because who is?), but makes for awesome company. So if you have fun on weekends and holidays spent exclusively with that person, it cannot possibly be weird, right? Correct me if I am wrong.

Are other people in relationships/ marriages always looking for big groups to hang out with? Is a couple holiday that is not a honeymoon, a strange thing? Don't say anything, it's not and I know it! I am not saying give up on everyone else and make your life exclusive to your spouse. My only point here is that it is not exactly strange to spend time with them and end up having a blast every time. It comes from the camaraderie you share, that level of comfort that you once shared with your best friend in college. Remember those times back in college, a friend and you, a bike, eating at random places, sitting at a random bus stops, talking nineteen to the dozen, and making fun of each other? It is somewhat like that, though now both of you return to the same house.

I am glad this works for me, but whatever rocks your boat!


PURN!MA said...

This holds true for me too... only thing ab tak no one's raised eyebrows over 'just the two of you' thing. But I have had the most awesome time when we were 'just the two of us'. No, it is not weird, it is not odd, it is not out of the box... people are scumbags! :D

Madhu Gopalan said...

Awww :)You are so not the oddball here :) I married my best friend too - nothing can be more fun than having your best friend around 24X7 - I only feel sorry for the people who don't have this gift :)

Tamanna said...

Purnima, not exactly scumbags :P Some people who ask me this are really nice and all. Different, maybe.

Madhu, I am so glad to hear that! I did not marry my best friend.. This guy I got married to became one. And I so glad he did :)

Nuttie Natters said...

going to agree with u here...i get so many "akele jaa rahe ho" for all our goa trips. But seriously the best trips we have had is when it's just the two of us.

We are just the right combo of laziness, fun, conversation to suit the both of us.

Scarlett said...

Hey Tamanna, holidaying/ eating/ hanging out with just your spouse/partner isn't strange at all. In fact, it's supposed to be a hell lot of fun or you've married the wrong person!!

It's very important for me that my partner should first be my friend - who I love hanging out with - and then my lover/caregiver etc. And alone time with your partner is very important, and it need not be spent at home, though that's good too ;P

So don't worry about people. Do what floats your boat.

DI said...

Heheh, seriously? people ask you that? I did 17 vacations in my 3.5 years of marriage (yep counted), and of that, 3 had others! One with family, and 2 with friends. We LOVE starting out on our own.

Forget that, 90% of our Saturday nights were made up of beer, music and just the two of us, and those are the bestestestest! So I do not feel surprised at all! I am actually happy that there are more like us :)

I did not marry a best friend either, but fortunately, the one I married became the best friend I ever had in the shortest time!

If you spend all your time with your spouse, and enjoy it, it is not weird, or being clingy, it's just that you're lucky!

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

I married my friend whom I had a crush on and thought I'd better just aspire for friendship here :D

I can tell you there's nothing more fun than he and I setting out on our own. Vacations are just more fun, comfortable and planned (am not a big fan of plan-as-you-go travels) with just him. And if someone thinks that's not the way, I think they're missing out on a lot.

blinkandmiss said...

Pehle toh, how does it matter if one is the odd one out or not. I mean we all are odd in some way or another. :)

My parents still take off every once in a while for a vacation all by themselves. I love those vacations I took with my husband when we weren't seeing each other, the ones we took when were and still love them just as much, even though now we have a toddler in tow so it is technically the three of us. But I must tell you that I also love vacations with *like-minded* company - friends or family.

Tamanna said...

Nuttie, DI, Scarlett, Smartie, blinkandmiss, glad you guys agree. In real life, I generally can't get such a big crowd to agree with most of the things I say/ do. That's why I blog :P

Moonshine said...

Hi Tamanna. just stumbled upon your blog through a friend's. And found I do get raised eyebrows from friends, family and the ilk. But who cares really!!! I am happy to be called antisocial. I do not meet people over the weekend.. I feel happy spending time with my husband.. and as I continue to do that, I am discovering new reasons to hang out with him even more.. playing TT, learning how to swim, not doing anything together (some of this is an aftereffect of a recent vacation in Goa)...pubbing.. yes 2 people can go pubbing as I keep explaining to people!!!

Glad that there are more of us who exist!!

Tamanna said...

Moonshine, so true. 2 people CAN go pubbing/ dancing/ hogging/ doing nothing together. Who made the group rules anyway? We are awesome! :) Thanks for visiting!