Friday, April 17, 2009

Alen Cohen once said, "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

Change, they say, is inevitable. I don't know about courage, but it sure takes some bigtime preparation. And by preparation I don't just mean manic shopping at Meena Baazaar :) Today I stand at the crossroads of my life. A place I knew I was going to arrive at, sooner than later. And somehow I wasn't aware it would also bring with itself a bundle of mixed emotions.

It's not easy to leave a world that is nothing if not familiar. A fixed amount of money making its way into the bank account every month, a boss whose moodswings I have come to understand and work my way around. A fixed routine of early morning and late evening local train rides. Familiar faces everywhere - the train, the roads, the neighborhood. The same running track around the building, even the familiar trainer at the gym! I may not have made, or kept even, too many friends here in Bombay, but the last couple of years were all about getting used to change. Learning to live with parents, where I can easily get away with moodswings, laziness, and downright SLOTH! An office where I knew my stuff, and worked my way to those Q Stars that adorn my desk.

And soon this phase will be over... All this familiarity will change. New place, new people, and a husband and a household to take care of too! Whoa, never imagined myself get married, be someone's wife and all that. I always thought I had too much of a wild streak to settle down, be the woman around the house, or even take the trouble of making changes in my life to be with someone else. And now, I am doing just that. And guess what - it doesn't feel like a compromise. It makes me happy, a tad bit unsure maybe, but very happy. Probably this comes from all the trust that has firmly made its place in my mind over the last few months. And the fact that the person I will be with after all these changes in my life, is understandable along with so many other nice things ;) Not predictable mind you, but very, very understandable. What more could I ask for, really? :)

I have been asked how I feel about all these changes. Well, I haven't consciously sat down and analysed my feelings over it. But from whatever thought I have given it, I do know I am not in the least bit sad. Or scared. I am unsure of my abilities as a wife and let's face it - a daughter in law, or sometimes of even finding my footing at the new workplace, but I am not upset. In fact I am ready for change. And all the fun that's in store for me. Us. :)

Yayyyy I am getting married. LOL!


reshma said...

Girl !!
You make me want to get married.

swati said...

sounds nice :)