Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The one where I ramble on

Life has taken a funny turn. After years of being a Grammar Nazi and still overlooking my typos, I now spend my days learning semantics and trying to avoid typos or killing myself over them. After 3 years of learning the ropes around excel and powerpoint, I am now moving on to word. And no, I don’t generally move backwards. I just worship randomness. Clich├ęd as it may sound, there really is so much to learn. When some of this learning is aligned with what you should have been doing with your life in the first place, it all makes sense. Even feedback. I am glad.

Speaking of work, I am not sure how I always end up with the more demanding/ engaging/ challenging/ Latin-Greek-from-Day 1-to-Day-7 clients. The ONE time that I had a hopelessly indifferent client and I could get away with months of bare minimum work and still be counted as an “enthusiastic team player” at the end of the year, I ran for dear life. Does this qualify as a disorder?

I am not sure if I am the only person in the world who thinks that professing love/ getting married should at least have a prerequisite EQ test. You don’t clear the EQ test, you don’t get to profess love/ get married. I see so many relationship disasters and marriages going haywire, all because the deed was done in haste and without a qualifying test. Setting a legal age is not enough. And 18 and 21? Who are we kidding?

I can’t wait to have kids. Actually I can. But I think a lot about being a mom and how much life will change and just how amazing it is to bring a new person into the world. Someone with a heart and mind of their own – the latter scares me though. My child will have my DNA after all. So I think a lot of about having a child but what stops me dead in my tracks is how to educate my children without turning them into half Gothic half crazy, weed smoking, precocious 10 year olds. Oh yes, I can understand if a child gets a tad bit troublesome in their teens. Who doesn’t? But when I see how far they are willing to take their rebellion, I can only wonder if I should take them back to our home town for them to get the small town, middle class upbringing we got, where they will get doors to bang, but will get no weed. Not so easily at least. I don’t know if it is about the people I know, or is it really so normal for a 13 year old boy to have weed leaves or a different girl in uncomfortably close quarters in every profile picture on Facebook. What a waste of childhood! The girls/boys will stay, the weed will stay. But it is definitely not wholesome to learn about sex and drugs before you learn how to iron your clothes and tie your shoelaces. Does coming home to a happy, full family life suffice? How else does one make sure in this day and age that their children are "with it" but not overtly so?

Acceptance. Is a magic word. This lady I know by chance (and definitely not by choice. Not anymore) has ruined every relationship she has ever had, because of her unfounded (every single time), unforgivable, and very intense spite, only because she is not willing to accept that there are things that have gone wrong in her life and there are things about herself, people around her, and the world at large that she cannot and should not want to change. That the world has changed a lot and it is OK to not understand social networking but it is not OK to be continuously spiteful on it. Or endlessly foolish. It only makes life very, very difficult for her. Because others care only till they reach their breaking point. But how do you tell someone so much older than you that they need to see a psychiatrist, without offending them? It is not infuriating. In fact she is one of those very, very few spiteful people in the world who evoke pity instead of anger. It is just extremely sad to see someone who had the potential to be an interesting old lady with a treasure chest of stories, turn into a dissatisfied, spiteful, foolish old woman with no scruples whatsoever. Not even at “nearing-70”. Sometimes the worst thing we can do to ourselves is living in denial and trying too hard. Why can’t we uncomplicate?

Disclaimer- I want to make this clear because it may be misconstrued by some forever-hunting-for-gossip folks who Google for me every single day. Like a family blog like this is ever going to be fodder for gossip! The last paragraph is not about my MIL or any "IL". The best grown ups are those who leave social networking for us kids :D And if they don't, they definitely don't become social networking trolls (like blog trolls we don't know personally were not enough) And don't try too hard. And don't think it is their rightful duty to change every person that was born after them. Just because they were born after them. Fortunately for me, my parents and in laws belong to that category.


DI said...

First! Off to read now :)

DI said...

Ah, how things change no?
Anyway, I can't wait to have kids too, it'll be some experience eh? But all in its good time I guess! :)

What a rambly post, itna sochne ka waqt kaise de raha hai tumhe client? I am being killed :(

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

You're bang on.. one of my biggest fears is my progeny being as bull-headed as me. They'll not just go ahead and smoke weed, they'll also not care about hiding it from my scrambled-brains self. Yep, true story!

Tamanna said...

DI, this has been thought over the last few days :P

TSAS, been there done that. Not weed though. I would have been disowned. Or married off to some Bihari farmer in the native village. LOL! But hiding was not an option. Take it or leave it, was :P

piyu said...

I love these rambly posts :)

Kids, I can't wait to have either.. But I'm scared, very very scared!

And 18 and 21 should definitely be revisited. Heck, even at 25 I felt I'm too young/stupid :P to be married.

PURN!MA said...

You have rambled on so sensibly! I am truly amazed. That was some food for thought.

I juts got married.. toh I haven't yet thought about having children all this early.... but yes,such thoughts do cross my mind. and I wonder how my parents looked after me ... and how they steered me into a safe, weed-free life.

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Weed was more metaphorical. But yes, I have done it once. I shudder to think that so many don't give it up and throw away the best years of their lives.

I'd love to know more about the woman you've written about. Why is she so averse to change? And why wouldn't she see it's harming her?

Tamanna said...

Piyu, we have all been there.. Too young and stupid to get married and forever scared to have kids.. LOL!

Purnima, I know what you mean babe :)

TSAS, I know what you mean. It is one thing to experiment (which I have) and totally another to start at 13 and get used to living in an illusion for a major part of our lives!

Preeti said...

Whatay random random post! :D Loved it!
I absolutely agree with you on the EQ before marriage idea! It should be a pre-requisite!

Arunima said...

loved the last para. :-)

claytonia vices said...

I love the EQ idea. 18-21 is useless. I have seen 30yr old teenagers with respect to relationships!!