Thursday, February 4, 2010

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

R and I will not get salaries this month. Thanks to both of us deciding to leave for greener pastures and now being stuck in our respective notice periods. Not that we will die of starvation, but it's not quite the same thing. There's something about a certain amount of money making its way to the bank, that makes you feel comfortable, even if you don't use all of it. When did the days of managing 10 days with 20 bucks end? Why did I get so used to this sicko, addictive thing called salary?

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm worthless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

I didn't think I was underpaid until the day I realised I was doing people's dirty work that makes little or no difference to anyone's lives. I am getting escalated/ getting multiple iterations for some copy paste job! I feel like I was hired to be an admin and not a consultant.

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

I need to desperately get out of here. And yet there are so many hurdles to cross and so many hyperactive, super fragile egoes to massage before the 2 week deadline. I love change. And yet I hate it. The anxiety is sort of killing me. But I don't think it will last. This must be the time when people tell you that "night is the darkest just before dawn" Because...

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...

Eternally hopeful Yours Truly :)


Haddock said...

I'm free but I'm focused ................
How true

Kasturi Shinde said...

Choool ..I loved the style of the post.
Albeit,the concluding poem sounded awesome , it was a bouncer for this fathead :( u wanna say 'AAL is Well' ?

Tamanna Mishra said...

Haddock, :)

KS, everything in italics is Alanis Morissette's Hand In My Pocket lyrics :) Now that you say it, yes, it does mean All Izz Well :D