Long time no rants on the blog!
On the road again, always.
Showing posts with label rant alert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant alert. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Melodrama. Not.
Argh. Blogger. Wtf! I wrote a happy post yesterday. I want it back NOW. I am not sure if there are any other posts missing, but there is a reason people blog. I should have saved them somewhere and not trusted you blindly.
Argh.
I did say yesterday that happiness is in the small things. Right now I am trying to find that happiness in the rain. It's not happening. I want my post back. Baaaawwwwl!
Bloody Friday the 13th.
Argh.
I did say yesterday that happiness is in the small things. Right now I am trying to find that happiness in the rain. It's not happening. I want my post back. Baaaawwwwl!
Bloody Friday the 13th.
Friday, April 8, 2011
What a week
You know that feeling when you are itching to pour your heart out on your blog but can't, because you have grown beyond the existential angst of youth and you don't blog anonymously. Right now, I don't really care.
I really want to become a mother. But a balanced one at that. Motherhood will be a very, very important part of my life but it will not be a be-all and end-all of my existence. Mum says wait and watch. I say wait and watch too.
I don't assume people are jealous of me when they disagree with me (I was accused of this last week. Beat that. Outrageous? Well. It takes all kinds.). If someone thinks I do, they probably have reason.. Look at my life, look at yours. Who among the two of us has a life worth getting jealous of? So if you pointed it out, you might just be right in the predicate. You said it, I didn't.
W-e-l-l. O-f-c-o-u-r-s-e. I love Dhoni. On TV.
I really think many (not all) mommy bloggers need to stop taking themselves too seriously. And even if they don't, they REALLY need to start getting comfortable about the fact that everyone has opinions. If they don't do that, in spite of all their pride in their mommy skills, they will bring up extremely unreasonable people. Unreasonable, stubborn, and rude. If they feel the need to clean the world they are leaving behind for their children, maybe, just maybe, they should start at home.
I like cotton kurtas. Even on Fridays. Have you seen the temperature?
I think social media and freedom of expression is all very well. But my problem is people like Gul Panag. One day I will tell my grandchildren I was half trolled by her on Twitter (for expressing an opinion that was not in her favour, without tagging her, believe it or not). But for now I am going to stop right here because I am done fighting with her, almost pleading that I am entitled to my opinion and stating that she is entitled to hers. Unfortunately. If she has chosen to be a public figure (also by reinforcing her non-existent celebrity status on Twitter over and over), she will have to deal with public criticism. Or did she troll everyone who thought Turning 30 was a less than mediocre movie and that she can't act for peanuts? I wouldn't be surprised if she did.
I think it is quite funny that there are people who harp on and on and on about racism when they see a page called Lanka Dahan on Facebook but when it comes to them, it is quite ok to make unnecessary digs or generalized statements about Indians from regions other than their. Charity begins at home, remember?
I think teenagers who longed to be "different" but were way too run off the mill, grow up desperately trying all their lives. Not comfortable in their own skin, ever. They will take a "different" stand on nearly everything. But at heart they are just desperate teenagers who did not fit on so they tried their hand at being different and then forgot to switch gears. I forgive them. Because I grew up.
I think the heat has got to me. I have been touchy about too many inconsequential things this last week. And inconsequential people - online and other indirect acquaintances to be precise. It is quite strange, coming from me. I am usually indifferent. This heat, I tell you.
Have you seen the outrage on Twitter? I am not judging anyone. I support Hazare because the man has a cause he is standing up for. How many of us do that? I will spend the weekend reading up the bill before I say anything else.
I am drained. But hey. I go home to a man who told me what now seems like a million years ago, that he wanted to marry someone who did not agree with him all the time. The happy part is that he stuck to this line. That is my deliverance today.
See you on the other side.
I really want to become a mother. But a balanced one at that. Motherhood will be a very, very important part of my life but it will not be a be-all and end-all of my existence. Mum says wait and watch. I say wait and watch too.
I don't assume people are jealous of me when they disagree with me (I was accused of this last week. Beat that. Outrageous? Well. It takes all kinds.). If someone thinks I do, they probably have reason.. Look at my life, look at yours. Who among the two of us has a life worth getting jealous of? So if you pointed it out, you might just be right in the predicate. You said it, I didn't.
W-e-l-l. O-f-c-o-u-r-s-e. I love Dhoni. On TV.
I really think many (not all) mommy bloggers need to stop taking themselves too seriously. And even if they don't, they REALLY need to start getting comfortable about the fact that everyone has opinions. If they don't do that, in spite of all their pride in their mommy skills, they will bring up extremely unreasonable people. Unreasonable, stubborn, and rude. If they feel the need to clean the world they are leaving behind for their children, maybe, just maybe, they should start at home.
I like cotton kurtas. Even on Fridays. Have you seen the temperature?
I think social media and freedom of expression is all very well. But my problem is people like Gul Panag. One day I will tell my grandchildren I was half trolled by her on Twitter (for expressing an opinion that was not in her favour, without tagging her, believe it or not). But for now I am going to stop right here because I am done fighting with her, almost pleading that I am entitled to my opinion and stating that she is entitled to hers. Unfortunately. If she has chosen to be a public figure (also by reinforcing her non-existent celebrity status on Twitter over and over), she will have to deal with public criticism. Or did she troll everyone who thought Turning 30 was a less than mediocre movie and that she can't act for peanuts? I wouldn't be surprised if she did.
I think it is quite funny that there are people who harp on and on and on about racism when they see a page called Lanka Dahan on Facebook but when it comes to them, it is quite ok to make unnecessary digs or generalized statements about Indians from regions other than their. Charity begins at home, remember?
I think teenagers who longed to be "different" but were way too run off the mill, grow up desperately trying all their lives. Not comfortable in their own skin, ever. They will take a "different" stand on nearly everything. But at heart they are just desperate teenagers who did not fit on so they tried their hand at being different and then forgot to switch gears. I forgive them. Because I grew up.
I think the heat has got to me. I have been touchy about too many inconsequential things this last week. And inconsequential people - online and other indirect acquaintances to be precise. It is quite strange, coming from me. I am usually indifferent. This heat, I tell you.
Have you seen the outrage on Twitter? I am not judging anyone. I support Hazare because the man has a cause he is standing up for. How many of us do that? I will spend the weekend reading up the bill before I say anything else.
I am drained. But hey. I go home to a man who told me what now seems like a million years ago, that he wanted to marry someone who did not agree with him all the time. The happy part is that he stuck to this line. That is my deliverance today.
See you on the other side.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Weather blues continued
I am falling into in a strange kind of insouciance and I am not particularly happy about it. Some would call is growing up, some, calmness. I just think it is a disease that needs to go away. And go away real fast. Be it by a para sailing day out, a long road trip in April or July, or just another major campaign at work.
Not for long, I assure
Someone take this heat away. I wonder how I will ever be able to live in Bombay again if I had to. Oh wait a minute, Bombay does not let you get bored, insouciant, or even complacent. And that makes all the difference.
Image courtesy - findicons.com
Friday, September 10, 2010
Blogging should not be free for all
Even Filmfare awards fare better than Indiblogger. There are movies for the masses - with the stall seat junta back home in Patna breaking into a song and dance number with and for the likes of Govinda - but fortunately those Govinda movies do not get those awards. But Indiblogger is more generous. Pages full of italics, horrifying grammar, and absolutely downmarket crap is spewed out on most of the blogs that get Indiblogger ranking these days. And those blogs are not the masses' favourite Shah Rukh Khan, they are Kamal Khan, Govinda at best, if you get the analogy. I am pulling out of the ranking now, because honestly, Indiblogger knows nothing about blogging. My rank has increased over the last couple of months, and I doubt if it means that I am doing anything good to deserve it. I might just be "screwing it up" worse than ever.
I believe in freedom of speech, I understand that the Govindas of the world have their audience too (hell, I watch him when I need a good ROFL session and that goes for the stupid blogs around these days too). But to give them a rank and justify the shit they produce in the name of blogging, is taking ego massaging a little too far. Especially when most of the better bloggers, the ones who can really write, or really have a point of view (I am not counting myself in any of the categories - as a rule I don't judge myself ;)), are more often than not, not even on the wall of honour!
What brought this on? A shameless swine recently pretended to be very imaginative when all she had done was pick up things from another really good blogger I read, and when I pointed it out to her, she denied everything and smartly linked the good blogger in question. Another shameless swine, one that even has the audacity to follow me, once wrote post after post about her conversations with her husband. And I was surprised at the similarity of our everyday babble, especially when apart from those bloody conversations, we have nothing in common (and thank God for small mercies). And then I stopped dead in my tracks because all the conversations we have in common, were those that are up on my blog. For God's sake, if you really have conversations like those in your house woman, and I know you know who you are, I think it is about time you stopped picking up pick up lines for your husband from my blog. It is as lame as it gets!
I know this is controversial, this post. I also know that I am going to lose a follower or two (and yes, I find that word derogatory too). But I think it is worth it. Blogging should be left to those who can at least write correct grammar, if not always immaculate. Blogging does not help anyone get their grammar right, so get over that misconception already! The only thing that really helps you correct your grammar, is the good ol' Wren and Martin. Then again, it is a free world. So write if your grammar is screwed up, but at least don't pick up my conversations. I like to think that this madness is exclusive!
And please STOP WRITING IN ITALICS! It is not a pretty sight. Get the cursive font if you have to make it arty-farty.
Bah!
P.S. Stupid long weekend. R is in office, how horrible can my life get?! But I hear Cotton World has a sale on. Some retail therapy should help me get rid of the pain this world is inflicting upon me :P
I believe in freedom of speech, I understand that the Govindas of the world have their audience too (hell, I watch him when I need a good ROFL session and that goes for the stupid blogs around these days too). But to give them a rank and justify the shit they produce in the name of blogging, is taking ego massaging a little too far. Especially when most of the better bloggers, the ones who can really write, or really have a point of view (I am not counting myself in any of the categories - as a rule I don't judge myself ;)), are more often than not, not even on the wall of honour!
What brought this on? A shameless swine recently pretended to be very imaginative when all she had done was pick up things from another really good blogger I read, and when I pointed it out to her, she denied everything and smartly linked the good blogger in question. Another shameless swine, one that even has the audacity to follow me, once wrote post after post about her conversations with her husband. And I was surprised at the similarity of our everyday babble, especially when apart from those bloody conversations, we have nothing in common (and thank God for small mercies). And then I stopped dead in my tracks because all the conversations we have in common, were those that are up on my blog. For God's sake, if you really have conversations like those in your house woman, and I know you know who you are, I think it is about time you stopped picking up pick up lines for your husband from my blog. It is as lame as it gets!
I know this is controversial, this post. I also know that I am going to lose a follower or two (and yes, I find that word derogatory too). But I think it is worth it. Blogging should be left to those who can at least write correct grammar, if not always immaculate. Blogging does not help anyone get their grammar right, so get over that misconception already! The only thing that really helps you correct your grammar, is the good ol' Wren and Martin. Then again, it is a free world. So write if your grammar is screwed up, but at least don't pick up my conversations. I like to think that this madness is exclusive!
And please STOP WRITING IN ITALICS! It is not a pretty sight. Get the cursive font if you have to make it arty-farty.
Bah!
P.S. Stupid long weekend. R is in office, how horrible can my life get?! But I hear Cotton World has a sale on. Some retail therapy should help me get rid of the pain this world is inflicting upon me :P
Friday, September 3, 2010
What I have done this week
1. Work. Oh work. Learn, apply, and a couple of times, unlearn and reapply. And an almost oversight. A blunt one at that. It has been crazy. Demands Fragile egos. And my obsessive need to finish everything in 8 hours, not more. I cannot begin to explain how exhausting it has been. And boy am I happy! Like I said, I am weird that way. I am also glad that word documents have taken over a lot of my excel files. I did miss the excel madness after a while, and then EOM happened. And then there was no running away from numbers. Just when words threaten to bore you, numbers come along. And words reappear before you start getting nightmares full of jumbled numbers. Perfect balance I say! Finally, finally I think this is what I was looking for. Finally.
2. Dealing with insecurity.
3. Cooking and cleaning. I always thought I did not believe in inertia. Don't ask me to explain that. But I saw an example this week. After a crazy day, I still went around getting laundry done. And how! And making full meals everyday. Folding clothes, even. It was like I was on fire and refused to stop!
4. Watching Frasier.The adorable pompousness of the Crane brothers has completely replaced the madness of Friends. I think it has something to do with age. For the last 11 years, Friends has been the background music of my life - padhai, party, cleaning, doing nothing were all always accompanied by the American canned laughter. Oh wait. It is not the canned laughter that has disappeared. Only the faces on the screen have changed.
5. Waiting. For the man who has been working late everyday. That explains a lot of the inertia and crankiness this week.
6. Watching Arnab Goswami. Every night. As usual, I am not sure why. From 12 to 1 at night, I have seen boring old men and loud old women scream their lungs out. I have seen my Biharis get kidnapped, and it only felt like the times gone by. I saw Pakistanis foolishly screaming foul. Again. This time about cricket, not terrorism. I will have to say this - with Pakistan, it is now a little difficult to see the difference. I saw Siddhu scream at rotting grains. And Nitish Kumar helpless and hapless just when the world was beginning to think that Bihar was a changed place. At least I was. And I felt sorry for myself and all those people mentioned above. And for the way me and mine entertain ourselves after days full of madness.
6. Dealing with red tape. And overcoming it. A bank locker is like a trophy these days. Banks will quote an obscene figure like Rs 3,00,000 deposit for a tiny locker. Know your rights, ladies and gentlemen, banks cannot put a condition like this to give you a locker. The RBI website clearly mentions this. So you need to know the numbers. And you need to know the branch manager's senior. Nepotism, you say? I say "loha/heera hi lohe/heere ko kaat ta hai".
6. Learning a lot about car windshields. Because ours got devastated. Bangalore rains and Bangalore greenery at their best. A big, strong branch fell on the car while R was in it. He is fine, and I don't like Bangalore again. You will know why, if you do not already.
7. Having street brawls. I have spineless creeps for neighbours. Bloody Bangalorean spineless creeps. I have never seen a bunch of creatures that claim to be alpha males in everyday existence duck, while a woman, an outsider, deals with an auto driver pointing his fist at her. Because she first refused to pay extra and did not have change. For one, I have not seen such rowdy auto drivers. And I have not seen cowards that hit or threaten to hit women, and cowards who hide behind the nearest tree in my oh so green neighbourhood when it comes to dealing with something man-to-man. I say man-to-man because apparently they take a lot of pride in their ability to do it, these bloody spineless Bangaloreans. I was angry with the neighbours for being. With the building watchman for going for an evening stroll. With R for being at work. But most of all, I am angry with myself. I have reported rigged meters, but today, when there was an issue much worse, my brain froze and refused to react constructively. So yes, I hate bloody spineless Bangaloreans. I cannot help it. I have met the worst of the lot I guess - my one time project manager, the auto and cab drivers, 3 other burly bastards who would have been better off being auto drivers, and a bunch of relatives that have made Bangalore their home for generations. All of them bloody spineless creeps. Non Bangaloreans, do not rattle on about how bad your city is. Because I want to wallow in my misery in this post, that is why I am writing it. And Bangaloreans, don't try defending. Apologize, if you just have to say something to this. Except you Chinkurli, I have to tell you that you are the only one that makes me think I have probably only been unlucky until now. So I will listen to whatever you have to say :-) (I cannot wait for my Activa. I know already that I am going to love it like one loves their protector.)
I have been operating like this on very few hours of sleep. Judge me all you want, but 6 hours is just not enough for me. I am fine, in case you are wondering. I have had a rough week, yes. But I did buy a lovely jute bag and 2 books - Shashi Tharoor and PG Wodehouse. And it is finally Friday. And there is chilled beer and rajma and Daily Bread cakes to keep me going. And the aftertaste of a session of stupid accusations that at one point threatened to turn into a full blown fight (which is always good, btw). I need this weekend.
Image courtesy: www.edupics.com
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
I love sleaze
Yes, I do. There were two articles in the newspaper yesterday about how the standard of TV has gone down etc. (I say etc because I have really had enough of this cribbing and complaining about TV.) Apparently everything is either regressive or sleazy. And that Animal Planet apparently is the only good thing on TV. Right? I say wrong!
Why do I watch TV? Because there is not much else in the world that can entertain me with not more effort than clicking a button, literally. I watch TV for entertainment. NGC depresses me. On top of it, shows like India irritate the living daylights out of me - they concentrate on the high rise buildings and megastructures (sic!) of the rest of the world and the slums of India. Bloody firangs. I don't mind Fox History and Travel and Living, but I would still stick with shoe string budget travel shows on NDTV because that is closer to my reality. But for a while let's forget these shows because I don't know anybody who doesn't like them, or at least claims to.
Let's talk about "sleazy" reality shows - Vinita Nangia recently asked for Broadcast Ministry's attention to shows like Spiltsvilla and Bigg Boss. Please! We don't need any more censorship. My question is, who is forcing her to watch them? At her age, she should may be stick with... I don't know... Not watching MTV? Splitsvilla provides me with bitchy entertainment and a lot of laughs. Intentionally and unintentionally. Bigg Boss too. And then there are always commercials and ticker. I watch TV for all that and more. Getting educated/ smarter/ spiritual/ intellectual is not on the list! There is enough all day that we do to "add value". Why does even mindless weeknight entertainment have to follow suit?
People seem to have a problem with American sitcoms too. Let's face it. Connect as we may with these shows, they don't speak of the culture we belong to - so don't criticize them just because jokes with sexual undertones are not your "taste"! Some of us like them, you know? Some of us live to watch those shows and hear those jokes. We get our weeknight kicks from these shows you know. Call us losers, or lacking in any intellectual capability, we don't like our favourite shows being trashed over and over again! Don't even get me started on the success stories of these sitcoms. Name ONE show on whatever "intellectually driven" channels you watch that ran for 10 years without losing its viewership. People make what sells. Thank God for small mercies.
And then Indian Idol. I have a major problem with kids' talent shows, but this post is not about the TV shows I have a problem with. Why does everyone worth their graduate degree (especially in something high and mighty) trash Indian Idol? I love Indian Idol. I vote for their contestants. Honestly I haven't been able to follow it as religiously this year as I have in the past. But Indian Idol for me is good hour long entertainment. There is music. There is nonsense. There are these two jokers on stage - Abhijeet and Hussain (personally I prefer Mini Mathur over Abhijeet - everyone can't do everything you know). And there is our home grown rockstar Sunidhi Chauhan and Annu Mallik's really weird shayari. I miss Javed Akhtar, Farah Khan, and Sonu Nigam. But the new ones are strictly OK too, as long as it is entertainment you are following Indian Indol for.
I have heard people question regressive TV shows ever so often. I used to, too. Until recently a tennis champ I know happily got married into a family that at least in Facebook pictures looks exactly like Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai. Jazzy, decked up, waiting every evening for their men to turn up. And spend the rest of the day cooking and Facebooking. (Do you realise how once it was music that broke all barriers, now it is Facebook.) It may be a case of chicken and eggs. But the similarity is striking. So maybe, just maybe regressive shows like those have a target audience too - those on the edge and those already on the other side of the world that we live in.
Why do I watch TV? Because there is not much else in the world that can entertain me with not more effort than clicking a button, literally. I watch TV for entertainment. NGC depresses me. On top of it, shows like India irritate the living daylights out of me - they concentrate on the high rise buildings and megastructures (sic!) of the rest of the world and the slums of India. Bloody firangs. I don't mind Fox History and Travel and Living, but I would still stick with shoe string budget travel shows on NDTV because that is closer to my reality. But for a while let's forget these shows because I don't know anybody who doesn't like them, or at least claims to.
Let's talk about "sleazy" reality shows - Vinita Nangia recently asked for Broadcast Ministry's attention to shows like Spiltsvilla and Bigg Boss. Please! We don't need any more censorship. My question is, who is forcing her to watch them? At her age, she should may be stick with... I don't know... Not watching MTV? Splitsvilla provides me with bitchy entertainment and a lot of laughs. Intentionally and unintentionally. Bigg Boss too. And then there are always commercials and ticker. I watch TV for all that and more. Getting educated/ smarter/ spiritual/ intellectual is not on the list! There is enough all day that we do to "add value". Why does even mindless weeknight entertainment have to follow suit?
People seem to have a problem with American sitcoms too. Let's face it. Connect as we may with these shows, they don't speak of the culture we belong to - so don't criticize them just because jokes with sexual undertones are not your "taste"! Some of us like them, you know? Some of us live to watch those shows and hear those jokes. We get our weeknight kicks from these shows you know. Call us losers, or lacking in any intellectual capability, we don't like our favourite shows being trashed over and over again! Don't even get me started on the success stories of these sitcoms. Name ONE show on whatever "intellectually driven" channels you watch that ran for 10 years without losing its viewership. People make what sells. Thank God for small mercies.
And then Indian Idol. I have a major problem with kids' talent shows, but this post is not about the TV shows I have a problem with. Why does everyone worth their graduate degree (especially in something high and mighty) trash Indian Idol? I love Indian Idol. I vote for their contestants. Honestly I haven't been able to follow it as religiously this year as I have in the past. But Indian Idol for me is good hour long entertainment. There is music. There is nonsense. There are these two jokers on stage - Abhijeet and Hussain (personally I prefer Mini Mathur over Abhijeet - everyone can't do everything you know). And there is our home grown rockstar Sunidhi Chauhan and Annu Mallik's really weird shayari. I miss Javed Akhtar, Farah Khan, and Sonu Nigam. But the new ones are strictly OK too, as long as it is entertainment you are following Indian Indol for.
I have heard people question regressive TV shows ever so often. I used to, too. Until recently a tennis champ I know happily got married into a family that at least in Facebook pictures looks exactly like Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai. Jazzy, decked up, waiting every evening for their men to turn up. And spend the rest of the day cooking and Facebooking. (Do you realise how once it was music that broke all barriers, now it is Facebook.) It may be a case of chicken and eggs. But the similarity is striking. So maybe, just maybe regressive shows like those have a target audience too - those on the edge and those already on the other side of the world that we live in.
I love TV. With all its sleaze and nonsense. I love almost all of its sub standard shows. And if I don't like them, I don't go on and on about hating them. I know it will not make me sound smarter than I am. And I know how annoying it can be when everyone starts cribbing about TV together and it becomes difficult to differentiate between the "wannabe intellectuals" with the real ones.
I don't take my entertainment seriously.
I just realized. If I showed half as much tolerance and "compassion" even, towards flesh and blood human beings as I do towards TV shows, a big chunk of my "problems" (real and imagined) would have disappeared without notice. So much for freedom of expression :P
Unapologetically yours.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Of blogging, social networking, censorship, and pseudo researchers
Liking comments? Who asked for it on Facebook I wonder. Just how lazy do they want our children to be? Or how lazy do they want to make us? Who gives them such idiotic ideas? I couldn't stand the "uber cute" "Likeyyy!!!" check box below posts that I see on so many blogs these days. And now this.
And when you add something to "interests" on your FB profile, they turn it into a page and then desperately keep suggesting the page to you until you join the page or throw the laptop away. No wonder so many people are now members of pages called "travling", "khalil gibran", "tokin on da fone". Why don't they just kill me instead?
It's things like these that sometimes stop me dead in my tracks just when I think I am beginning to believe in oonchi soch like democracy and freedom of speech. But as long as Big Daddy Google (it turned out to be a spambot alright, but I still think it is a lame excuse for randomly deleting years of blogging and memories recorded with Blogger by people who brought in the trend in the first place) and this neo blogger called AbhiD (who recently threatened me on someone's comment box that he will write about some of my posts in some thesis of a post he is doing on questionable content/ content in bad taste on various blogs. I am glad, the other bloggers that he is going to write about are celebrities in their own right. Although I do want to tell him that if research is such a passion for him, he should consider doing a REAL PhD. And no, I am not going to link him here until he does that post he was talking about. Then I will gloat. :D) are around, I don't really need to worry. Censorship will survive.
One of these days I really want to do a post on the brief history of blogging. Those who didn't blog when blogging was a novelty missed out on a lot of class and intelligence and brilliant writing, and a whole lot of fun. (Disclaimer - Please don't sue me, I don't mean blogs these days don't spell class, intelligence, brilliant writing, and fun - I have 79 odd subscriptions on my reader). Just that in the era of blogging 1.0, I hadn't come across any unreadable blogs/ weird bloggers, I do now.) Until then, bear with posts that don't need much thought. And of course, the "questionable content". LOL!
And when you add something to "interests" on your FB profile, they turn it into a page and then desperately keep suggesting the page to you until you join the page or throw the laptop away. No wonder so many people are now members of pages called "travling", "khalil gibran", "tokin on da fone". Why don't they just kill me instead?
It's things like these that sometimes stop me dead in my tracks just when I think I am beginning to believe in oonchi soch like democracy and freedom of speech. But as long as Big Daddy Google (it turned out to be a spambot alright, but I still think it is a lame excuse for randomly deleting years of blogging and memories recorded with Blogger by people who brought in the trend in the first place) and this neo blogger called AbhiD (who recently threatened me on someone's comment box that he will write about some of my posts in some thesis of a post he is doing on questionable content/ content in bad taste on various blogs. I am glad, the other bloggers that he is going to write about are celebrities in their own right. Although I do want to tell him that if research is such a passion for him, he should consider doing a REAL PhD. And no, I am not going to link him here until he does that post he was talking about. Then I will gloat. :D) are around, I don't really need to worry. Censorship will survive.
One of these days I really want to do a post on the brief history of blogging. Those who didn't blog when blogging was a novelty missed out on a lot of class and intelligence and brilliant writing, and a whole lot of fun. (Disclaimer - Please don't sue me, I don't mean blogs these days don't spell class, intelligence, brilliant writing, and fun - I have 79 odd subscriptions on my reader). Just that in the era of blogging 1.0, I hadn't come across any unreadable blogs/ weird bloggers, I do now.) Until then, bear with posts that don't need much thought. And of course, the "questionable content". LOL!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Auntie Chronicles/ The Goddess of Small Things
Because I couldn't decide which one of the two headings was more accurate.
(If you are still pretending to be the kind of wife that doesn't need to be responsible for anything around the house (like I had been until a couple of months ago), just close this tab!)
(In almost 7 years of REGULAR blogging, I have finally managed to churn out my most boring, mundane, I-had-cornflakes-for-breakfast-it-is-a-sunny-day post EVER.)
Of late the quality of my posts has gone down the dumps? Why? I haven't had much to say. And things that I want to say are either already said on someone else's blog or I don't have the time (I have surprised myself at how often I have said this recently. Am I complaining? Hardly!) or the patience to write. Life has been awesomely and brilliantly busy of late, what with loads of interesting work, stuff around the house to be taken care of, so much of it carried over to weekends, and all the shopping and planning to do this month - an anniversary and a birthday (not mine!) and Fathers Day (call me cheesy, I celebrate everything) and a long overdue visit from my sis - I simply love June! R has been very busy at work, and I am finally beginning to understand what people mean when they say that handling both home and work isn't easy. However it is definitely not rocket science. I think we are managing quite well. So far so good!
One of the most awesome things in the world is to reach office in the morning and realise you are the first person to walk in. The first cup of office coffee in such amazing, and such unlikely silence is definitely the best way to kick start to the day. Highly recommended! There was a time when reaching office that early was a regular thing. Primarily to escape the rush hour crowd in the local train. But it's easy to do that when you have a bowl of steaming hot oats (yuck!) and a cup of chai waiting for you on the dining table when you decide to bless the world with your freshly bathed, awesome smelling self :P But now mornings are a rush - with R deciding to take on the world by cleaning every corner of the house early in the morning, and the overcome-with-guilt me try to match up by pretending to be very busy making chai. LOL! A word of gyaan - refusing to boot the laptop in the morning helps! No Facebook. No blogs. No gmail. Not that early in the morning for sure! Sigh! When did I grow up? :-)
I have a saviour for my morning rush - the new maid. Parbati. This girl from Nepal. I feel bad for her - she has just moved to Bangalore from her village in Nepal. She can't read time, speaks broken Hindi, and looks like the quintessential kanchi. I wonder just how lost she must feel in the big bad world. Tells me though that her husband helps her in the kitchen. Men have evolved. Such a pleasant far cry from Ma quietly listening to her domestic helps' woes of a drunkard, violent husband every other morning, quietly because those women didn't seem like they particularly wanted to change anything. That said, if Sholay was made in our day and age, I would have told my kids "beta so jao, subah subah fir Parbati didi aa jaayengi". Seriously! No matter how much I plead with her, be stern with her, she will always, without fail, come before I can even think of getting out of bed. And once she is in, the busy body starts turning the kitchen upside down, and I am not sure what I was thinking when I decided to live in a house with an open kitchen. While this is blessing in disguise on weekdays, it can be such a pain in the wrong place on a weekend when all you want to do is sleep in late. And she can't cut vegetables for peanuts. And I must tell you than bhindi torn from the centre doesn't taste half as good as one that is cut well. She is worse than me! I still like her. I must be crazy!
Has everyone watched Rajneeti? Prakash Jha, my dad, and R are all from the same school. So my otherwise hardly-movie-watching dad (That's new though, he has spent many afternoons doing back to back in Regal and Metro) saw the movie on the Friday that it released. And I, of the FDFS fame, the only one in my extended khandaan that still believes in the wonders of FDFS, hasn't seen the movie yet! Surprisingly, I am not depressed about it. Where is the time? But this Saturday I will have to. I really can't lose my identity in this mad rush of life (big words, no?), so what if my identity is primarily defined by the number of Bollywood masala movies I have seen on the first weekend. There is Rajneeti and Toy Story, and I am waiting for IHLS. And I missed Well Done Abba and its DVD is almost never available on seventymm and Big Flix. So I have a whole lot of back log to catch up on.
I finally managed to finish 3 seasons of Frasier, and I am glad I did. Even Niles is coming around now, I quite like him. Never thought I would, when I saw him in the first season. Which reminds me. Has any one of you watched Heroes? I started, and I couldn't survive the first couple of episodes. Am I missing something? What's the the fuss about?
I read something in the newspaper today, and I am raving mad. Most of the times it doesn't take much for people to drive me there, but this one I think is not one of those small things I over react at. I read Jeffrey Archer's interview in Bangalore Times this morning. And unless it is proved that this is case of yellow journalism, I am not going to read his books again. And no, this is not an excuse for not reading his books because I don't understand them. I don't remember if I do, because the last time I read Jeffrey Archer was in class 10. I think someone forced it upon me, I have never been so fond of suspense thrillers (that's what he writes about, right? See how much I know about him?). Except maybe Daphne Du Maurrier. Not sure if I will manage to survive her now too. See Mr Archer? You don't like India (I guess you are secretly afraid we will drive you back to your high and mighty phoren country, the Englishman that you are.), I don't like you. Case closed. Give me an Indian writing in English. Or Enid Blyton. Any day.
Which reminds me. I managed to finish all my Malory Towers. All the books I had that is. One of these days I will go book shopping again. Any recommendations? I already told you my preference, so. It was fun to revisit Darrel Rivers and group again. I never knew that the second series of Malory Towers was released last year - with Darrel's sister Felicity taking the lead. As is the case with all sequels, it is not as good as the first series. But the characters are nearly the same as Darrel's batch. The names are new though. So it helps. I liked it. There's nothing to not like.
Have you been watching the soccer WC? I prefer Indian Idol! But I gave in to the pressure after my FB homepage was full of self confessed "soccer freaks" (that only remember they like the game during WC - I think they watch it for the WAGs. I know all the abbreviations, see?). Then of course are the genuine ones. Some of my friends. They bunked/ reconsidered taking university exams because they had matches to watch all night. I say this passion for soccer in Indians comes from the lack of pressure to win. Cricket has been disappointing recently. Anyway coming back to succumbing to the pressure of watching soccer. I tried last night. But slept off. In a match between Italy and Paraguay, even I know who will win. Not Paraguay by a long shot, right? Let me go check. Ah! It was a draw. What do I know about soccer?
Am I the only one who has extremely annoying relatives on Facebook? The ones who dispense random gyaan that sounds like the back cover of the cardboard bound registers we used to scribble math sums on in school? Quotes on leadership and other such trivial matters in status updates. It gets annoying, doesn't it?
While we are on relatives (and friends), I have a new pet peeve. Why can't a married woman be low without being asked if she had had a fight with her husband? And why can't she fall sick without people asking her or secretly wondering if she is "carrying". Don't get me wrong, my fights with R make me miserable. But it helps that our fights don't last longer than a couple of hours. And no, we don't pretend to be the samajhdaar couple that doesn't sleep without resolving the fight. When we fight, we fight. And we are secure enough to know that neither of us will run off in the night if we don't resolve the fight before sleeping off at night. That said, if I am upset for a couple of days at a stretch, slim chance it is because of a fight. And if I am unwell for over 3 days, please be aware that I am absolutely non-immune to running noses and violent coughs. And much as I want to have kids, I am not "carrying". Yet.
Why can't we enjoy monsoons and pakodas and chai and all the bliss that comes with it without running the risk of catching a cold/ coughing for an entire week/ getting stuck in traffic for hours/ auto drivers demanding the moon to take you home (YOUR home, you dirty people!). Not that I have to deal with auto drivers too often now. Just saying. So the other day I was galivanting in the scorching heat, when the weather suddenly took a turn, and it rained. And the next day I was coughing and sniffing and considering going on sick leave. I didn't. But I remembered another era. When a bunch of us would take internal exams, then sit at a friend's house till 2:30 am, and then ride all the way to Mahabaleshwar on bikes that didn't have gears (to start with), and back, all in a matter of 15 hours. During the crazy Maharashtra monsoons. 15 hours of being drenched on the road. On bikes. I can only imagine how the wheel of the world would stop turning if I did that now. 2 hours, may be. 3 is good too. Not getting drenched and going on abnormally long drives in the pretty red ride we have - that would be something!We are getting old. OK R would not like it if I said this about him on a public forum - he is still my young and dashing Ranchi ka Rajkumar ;) I am getting old. Am I complaining, still? Not in the least :-)
Speaking of weather, I have been unbelievably lazy the last few days. I have been going through the motions of getting up, getting dressed, getting to work, cooking, and all that. But at the back of my mind I can only think of sleeping. Sleeping like there is no tomorrow. Sleeping at the risk of missing the little pleasures of watching the little maid of Nepal/ Mr Frasier Crane/ life in action. And I am not the only one. At the entrance of my office building, I see 3 dogs every single day. They don't move. I am not kidding you. You can do a hop, skip, jump, and they will just about open their eyes, look at you sleepily, and go right back to sleep. Ok now I am talking non sense.
Speaking of office buildings, is it just me that finds these sprawling tech parks a tad bit obscene, to say the least? I mean I am all for a comfortable office to work in. But the amount of land that is wasted on making these sprawling campuses in a country where wealth is not justly (that's a word, I just checked) distributed at all, for people to code comfortably, or make pretty PPTs, or whatever. It's all good. But whatever happened to that thing called practicality? Usability? Usefulness? I don't even particularly like the sprawling building societies, but I don't think I will be able to help living in one of them. I can avoid working in suburban tech parks. So far I have managed quite well. I like to be in the middle of all the action. Know what I mean? It is more about perspective I guess. The same contrasts make sure I am always in awe of Bombay. I respect Bombay for the same contrasts that I dislike Bangalore for. Do I have to think fairly all the time? Or at all? Do I even need to start explaining that I am right? Of course I am!
Coming back to my love for Bangalore (I mean it. This city is by far the best I have lived in. Even Bombay had its faults. I live in a house/ city where I can get pin drop silence when I want to, just when I want to. That says more about Bangalore vs Bombay than anything ever will), the weather is magical. My sister is coming here in a little over 2 weeks. And I have a birthday to celebrate and plan for in exactly 1 week+1 day.
Life's good? Couldn't be better!
:-)
P.S. - Did you actually read this load of crap? You must really love me!
(If you are still pretending to be the kind of wife that doesn't need to be responsible for anything around the house (like I had been until a couple of months ago), just close this tab!)
(In almost 7 years of REGULAR blogging, I have finally managed to churn out my most boring, mundane, I-had-cornflakes-for-breakfast-it-is-a-sunny-day post EVER.)
Of late the quality of my posts has gone down the dumps? Why? I haven't had much to say. And things that I want to say are either already said on someone else's blog or I don't have the time (I have surprised myself at how often I have said this recently. Am I complaining? Hardly!) or the patience to write. Life has been awesomely and brilliantly busy of late, what with loads of interesting work, stuff around the house to be taken care of, so much of it carried over to weekends, and all the shopping and planning to do this month - an anniversary and a birthday (not mine!) and Fathers Day (call me cheesy, I celebrate everything) and a long overdue visit from my sis - I simply love June! R has been very busy at work, and I am finally beginning to understand what people mean when they say that handling both home and work isn't easy. However it is definitely not rocket science. I think we are managing quite well. So far so good!
One of the most awesome things in the world is to reach office in the morning and realise you are the first person to walk in. The first cup of office coffee in such amazing, and such unlikely silence is definitely the best way to kick start to the day. Highly recommended! There was a time when reaching office that early was a regular thing. Primarily to escape the rush hour crowd in the local train. But it's easy to do that when you have a bowl of steaming hot oats (yuck!) and a cup of chai waiting for you on the dining table when you decide to bless the world with your freshly bathed, awesome smelling self :P But now mornings are a rush - with R deciding to take on the world by cleaning every corner of the house early in the morning, and the overcome-with-guilt me try to match up by pretending to be very busy making chai. LOL! A word of gyaan - refusing to boot the laptop in the morning helps! No Facebook. No blogs. No gmail. Not that early in the morning for sure! Sigh! When did I grow up? :-)
I have a saviour for my morning rush - the new maid. Parbati. This girl from Nepal. I feel bad for her - she has just moved to Bangalore from her village in Nepal. She can't read time, speaks broken Hindi, and looks like the quintessential kanchi. I wonder just how lost she must feel in the big bad world. Tells me though that her husband helps her in the kitchen. Men have evolved. Such a pleasant far cry from Ma quietly listening to her domestic helps' woes of a drunkard, violent husband every other morning, quietly because those women didn't seem like they particularly wanted to change anything. That said, if Sholay was made in our day and age, I would have told my kids "beta so jao, subah subah fir Parbati didi aa jaayengi". Seriously! No matter how much I plead with her, be stern with her, she will always, without fail, come before I can even think of getting out of bed. And once she is in, the busy body starts turning the kitchen upside down, and I am not sure what I was thinking when I decided to live in a house with an open kitchen. While this is blessing in disguise on weekdays, it can be such a pain in the wrong place on a weekend when all you want to do is sleep in late. And she can't cut vegetables for peanuts. And I must tell you than bhindi torn from the centre doesn't taste half as good as one that is cut well. She is worse than me! I still like her. I must be crazy!
Has everyone watched Rajneeti? Prakash Jha, my dad, and R are all from the same school. So my otherwise hardly-movie-watching dad (That's new though, he has spent many afternoons doing back to back in Regal and Metro) saw the movie on the Friday that it released. And I, of the FDFS fame, the only one in my extended khandaan that still believes in the wonders of FDFS, hasn't seen the movie yet! Surprisingly, I am not depressed about it. Where is the time? But this Saturday I will have to. I really can't lose my identity in this mad rush of life (big words, no?), so what if my identity is primarily defined by the number of Bollywood masala movies I have seen on the first weekend. There is Rajneeti and Toy Story, and I am waiting for IHLS. And I missed Well Done Abba and its DVD is almost never available on seventymm and Big Flix. So I have a whole lot of back log to catch up on.
I finally managed to finish 3 seasons of Frasier, and I am glad I did. Even Niles is coming around now, I quite like him. Never thought I would, when I saw him in the first season. Which reminds me. Has any one of you watched Heroes? I started, and I couldn't survive the first couple of episodes. Am I missing something? What's the the fuss about?
I read something in the newspaper today, and I am raving mad. Most of the times it doesn't take much for people to drive me there, but this one I think is not one of those small things I over react at. I read Jeffrey Archer's interview in Bangalore Times this morning. And unless it is proved that this is case of yellow journalism, I am not going to read his books again. And no, this is not an excuse for not reading his books because I don't understand them. I don't remember if I do, because the last time I read Jeffrey Archer was in class 10. I think someone forced it upon me, I have never been so fond of suspense thrillers (that's what he writes about, right? See how much I know about him?). Except maybe Daphne Du Maurrier. Not sure if I will manage to survive her now too. See Mr Archer? You don't like India (I guess you are secretly afraid we will drive you back to your high and mighty phoren country, the Englishman that you are.), I don't like you. Case closed. Give me an Indian writing in English. Or Enid Blyton. Any day.
Which reminds me. I managed to finish all my Malory Towers. All the books I had that is. One of these days I will go book shopping again. Any recommendations? I already told you my preference, so. It was fun to revisit Darrel Rivers and group again. I never knew that the second series of Malory Towers was released last year - with Darrel's sister Felicity taking the lead. As is the case with all sequels, it is not as good as the first series. But the characters are nearly the same as Darrel's batch. The names are new though. So it helps. I liked it. There's nothing to not like.
Have you been watching the soccer WC? I prefer Indian Idol! But I gave in to the pressure after my FB homepage was full of self confessed "soccer freaks" (that only remember they like the game during WC - I think they watch it for the WAGs. I know all the abbreviations, see?). Then of course are the genuine ones. Some of my friends. They bunked/ reconsidered taking university exams because they had matches to watch all night. I say this passion for soccer in Indians comes from the lack of pressure to win. Cricket has been disappointing recently. Anyway coming back to succumbing to the pressure of watching soccer. I tried last night. But slept off. In a match between Italy and Paraguay, even I know who will win. Not Paraguay by a long shot, right? Let me go check. Ah! It was a draw. What do I know about soccer?
Am I the only one who has extremely annoying relatives on Facebook? The ones who dispense random gyaan that sounds like the back cover of the cardboard bound registers we used to scribble math sums on in school? Quotes on leadership and other such trivial matters in status updates. It gets annoying, doesn't it?
While we are on relatives (and friends), I have a new pet peeve. Why can't a married woman be low without being asked if she had had a fight with her husband? And why can't she fall sick without people asking her or secretly wondering if she is "carrying". Don't get me wrong, my fights with R make me miserable. But it helps that our fights don't last longer than a couple of hours. And no, we don't pretend to be the samajhdaar couple that doesn't sleep without resolving the fight. When we fight, we fight. And we are secure enough to know that neither of us will run off in the night if we don't resolve the fight before sleeping off at night. That said, if I am upset for a couple of days at a stretch, slim chance it is because of a fight. And if I am unwell for over 3 days, please be aware that I am absolutely non-immune to running noses and violent coughs. And much as I want to have kids, I am not "carrying". Yet.
Why can't we enjoy monsoons and pakodas and chai and all the bliss that comes with it without running the risk of catching a cold/ coughing for an entire week/ getting stuck in traffic for hours/ auto drivers demanding the moon to take you home (YOUR home, you dirty people!). Not that I have to deal with auto drivers too often now. Just saying. So the other day I was galivanting in the scorching heat, when the weather suddenly took a turn, and it rained. And the next day I was coughing and sniffing and considering going on sick leave. I didn't. But I remembered another era. When a bunch of us would take internal exams, then sit at a friend's house till 2:30 am, and then ride all the way to Mahabaleshwar on bikes that didn't have gears (to start with), and back, all in a matter of 15 hours. During the crazy Maharashtra monsoons. 15 hours of being drenched on the road. On bikes. I can only imagine how the wheel of the world would stop turning if I did that now. 2 hours, may be. 3 is good too. Not getting drenched and going on abnormally long drives in the pretty red ride we have - that would be something!
Speaking of weather, I have been unbelievably lazy the last few days. I have been going through the motions of getting up, getting dressed, getting to work, cooking, and all that. But at the back of my mind I can only think of sleeping. Sleeping like there is no tomorrow. Sleeping at the risk of missing the little pleasures of watching the little maid of Nepal/ Mr Frasier Crane/ life in action. And I am not the only one. At the entrance of my office building, I see 3 dogs every single day. They don't move. I am not kidding you. You can do a hop, skip, jump, and they will just about open their eyes, look at you sleepily, and go right back to sleep. Ok now I am talking non sense.
Speaking of office buildings, is it just me that finds these sprawling tech parks a tad bit obscene, to say the least? I mean I am all for a comfortable office to work in. But the amount of land that is wasted on making these sprawling campuses in a country where wealth is not justly (that's a word, I just checked) distributed at all, for people to code comfortably, or make pretty PPTs, or whatever. It's all good. But whatever happened to that thing called practicality? Usability? Usefulness? I don't even particularly like the sprawling building societies, but I don't think I will be able to help living in one of them. I can avoid working in suburban tech parks. So far I have managed quite well. I like to be in the middle of all the action. Know what I mean? It is more about perspective I guess. The same contrasts make sure I am always in awe of Bombay. I respect Bombay for the same contrasts that I dislike Bangalore for. Do I have to think fairly all the time? Or at all? Do I even need to start explaining that I am right? Of course I am!
Coming back to my love for Bangalore (I mean it. This city is by far the best I have lived in. Even Bombay had its faults. I live in a house/ city where I can get pin drop silence when I want to, just when I want to. That says more about Bangalore vs Bombay than anything ever will), the weather is magical. My sister is coming here in a little over 2 weeks. And I have a birthday to celebrate and plan for in exactly 1 week+1 day.
Life's good? Couldn't be better!
:-)
P.S. - Did you actually read this load of crap? You must really love me!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
B.O.R.E.D
Got a call from an HR consultant last evening (these calls happen to me ONLY when I am NOT job hunting). For open positions in some Analytics KPO. I said I wasn't exactly looking for a change. And definitely not to a KPO. The consultant was shocked (Bangalore.. Outsourcing.. KPO.. Get?). You ask why? Because an Analytics KPO is for two types - the extremely bright ones and complete fools. Where do I belong? Bang in the middle. Worth it? Totally!
So. Note to self: Should make better plans for tomorrow so I don't go internet crawling all over again like a loser. On some days, it can get quite annoying.
On that note, I also went FB trolling (Errr.. Now that I am back on Facebook and all) after very long today. Oh and the exhibitions continue. So does Facebook PDA. Get a room! Why am I back on FB? Because I missed a few friends and random nonsense conversation with people I share parts of my history with - school mates and college mates and ex colleagues. Some kindred souls. People's travel albums. People's kiddie pictures. My kiddie pictures. Worth it? Totally!
There are so many totally faltu blogs around these days. What are people thinking? It wasn't the same in the good ol' days. Worth it? Not so much! (That's why I used to have a blogroll!)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Rant Alert
Booking a cab in this godforsaken city is a PAIN. Let's start from where it's always good to start... The beginning. Yesterday I walked for some 30 minutes because one of the most normal things people do in Bangalore is shut down roads for "maintainance" whenever they feel like. JLT. No information nothing. So I got off the car midway, took an auto, then got off the auto, walked on for an eternity, fought with a couple of auto drivers, and finally made a traffic policeman feel guilty for my misery and he instructed an auto driver to help me get to work. I took an auto back home last night too - a good 2 hour in traffic. Woke up with a terrible stomach ache back ache headache and I would have been excused from work on humanitarian grounds (I almost wrote an sms to my boss telling him I was dead). But me, being me, had to get to work, ESPECIALLY today. I am quite sadistic that way.
Anyway so the mutual decision was to book a cab. Now in other cities and with other people, you call the cab company, they take down your address, the cab driver calls you once for directions, he generally understands your language, and the next you hear from him is when he is right outside your door.
But Bangalore wouldn't be Bangalore and I wouldn't be me if things worked like this. So you first call the cab company that has a manager who refuses to hear you out and just says the cab will be on its way in 10 minutes. Now nearly all areas in Bangalore have two names - one is for the locals with colonial hangover, and the other is for the same locals after they realise how difficult it for them to pronounce Angrezi names. One cool, one not so cool. So I live on Wind Tunnel Road, also known as Murgeshpalya. I got a call from the cab driver and he mumbles something. I say Wind Tunnel Road. He says "AAAAAN?" I say "WIND TUNNNNEEELLLLL ROOOAAADDDD". He says "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN????" I say "Murugeshpalya". He still says AAAAAANNNN?
Frustrated, I call the cab company. They say they will try to make him understand. I start rambling my address, and they say tell the cab driver. Ok which part DON'T you get? The cab driver doesn't speak my language and that's why I called YOU, YOU MORON! His reply.. Of course.. AAAAN???
By now I was hurling abuses at myself for having gone to school. See it's easy. You don't go to school->You don't go to college->You don't work. Life's good that way you know.
Anyway back to the point, Mr AAAAAN calls again. Someone get me an award or something. I AGAIN try to explain to him how to get to where I stay. All my attempts fall on deaf ears. The ones that make you go "AAAAAAN???" Screw you man! Called the cab company again and the man in question says he will ask the cab driver to understand me. That must be the funniest line I have ever heard. Only I was in no mood to find anyone funny. So I hurled some abuses in my head and feebly said "I can't wait for him to go to school and finish his hindi classes so he is fit enough to take me to work" and banged the phone as hard as you can bang a cell phone down. And boy! The cab company manager actually got my point. I got a call in a minute from someone who spoke english, knew Murgeshpalya.. Hell he even knew Wind Tunnel Road. Beat that! Just when I was about to fall flat at God's feet for miracles like these, I get a call. He says something totally incomprehensible. All I hear is AAAAANNNNN. Yes. Again. This time around I asked him to handover the phone to someone.. Anyone.. On the road. I explained the way to my house to some random Kannada stranger, who in turn explained it to the cab driver. And in 10 minutes I was on my way to work.
Now here's why I miss Bombay. They speak Marathi, which I had mastered in 2 months flat after I started living in Pune. That said, everyone in Bombay speaks a kind of Hindi which is wayyyy cooler than mine. And they definitely don't speak Kannada and the AAAAAN-Language. In Bombay, it's easy to know your Jogeshwari from your Goregaon. Why? Because they have RAILWAY STATIONS GODDAMNIT! And Powai. Everyone knows Powai even if it doesn't have a railway station. Because hell it doesn't have a railway station. And in Bombay if nothing works, there are always celebrity houses. Let's say I want to go to Fabindia in Bandra and don't know how to get there. All I need to tell the auto wallah is that I want to go to Gulzaar Saab's bungalow. And there you are. Some shopping and the smell of mangoes from Gulzaar Saab's garden (the latter of course is usually just my imagination running wild). If you want to go to the ICICI Bank in Juhu, you tell people you want to go to Amit Ji's bungalow.
Where on earth are the celebrities in Bangalore? Yedurappa you ask? Mujhe meri izzat bohot pyaari hai.
Screw Bangalore, screw the cab drivers (oh yes, I almost forgot - the cab driver fleeced me in Kannada. He charged me for 17 kms instead of 7. Ok he only tried. I am very particular about paying them extra. I probably would have in Bombay. Without any calculations. But I am beginning to realise what some locals in this city are capable of - auto wallahs or otherwise. Rude. Stupid. Complexed. Morons. The auto wallahs, the cab drivers, the bus drivers, the shop keepers, and my ex PM)
Where the f*** are the rains goddamnit???
There has to be an easier way of life. It's on days like this (and only on days like this) that all I want to do is sit at home, paint my (chewed off, non existent) nails, watch TV, and let the husband be the sole "beer winner" in the family. Just how bad/ difficult/ boring can staying home morning after morning be? Really!? Have you even heard of Big Flix?
AAAARGH!
Anyway so the mutual decision was to book a cab. Now in other cities and with other people, you call the cab company, they take down your address, the cab driver calls you once for directions, he generally understands your language, and the next you hear from him is when he is right outside your door.
But Bangalore wouldn't be Bangalore and I wouldn't be me if things worked like this. So you first call the cab company that has a manager who refuses to hear you out and just says the cab will be on its way in 10 minutes. Now nearly all areas in Bangalore have two names - one is for the locals with colonial hangover, and the other is for the same locals after they realise how difficult it for them to pronounce Angrezi names. One cool, one not so cool. So I live on Wind Tunnel Road, also known as Murgeshpalya. I got a call from the cab driver and he mumbles something. I say Wind Tunnel Road. He says "AAAAAN?" I say "WIND TUNNNNEEELLLLL ROOOAAADDDD". He says "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN????" I say "Murugeshpalya". He still says AAAAAANNNN?
Frustrated, I call the cab company. They say they will try to make him understand. I start rambling my address, and they say tell the cab driver. Ok which part DON'T you get? The cab driver doesn't speak my language and that's why I called YOU, YOU MORON! His reply.. Of course.. AAAAN???
By now I was hurling abuses at myself for having gone to school. See it's easy. You don't go to school->You don't go to college->You don't work. Life's good that way you know.
Anyway back to the point, Mr AAAAAN calls again. Someone get me an award or something. I AGAIN try to explain to him how to get to where I stay. All my attempts fall on deaf ears. The ones that make you go "AAAAAAN???" Screw you man! Called the cab company again and the man in question says he will ask the cab driver to understand me. That must be the funniest line I have ever heard. Only I was in no mood to find anyone funny. So I hurled some abuses in my head and feebly said "I can't wait for him to go to school and finish his hindi classes so he is fit enough to take me to work" and banged the phone as hard as you can bang a cell phone down. And boy! The cab company manager actually got my point. I got a call in a minute from someone who spoke english, knew Murgeshpalya.. Hell he even knew Wind Tunnel Road. Beat that! Just when I was about to fall flat at God's feet for miracles like these, I get a call. He says something totally incomprehensible. All I hear is AAAAANNNNN. Yes. Again. This time around I asked him to handover the phone to someone.. Anyone.. On the road. I explained the way to my house to some random Kannada stranger, who in turn explained it to the cab driver. And in 10 minutes I was on my way to work.
Now here's why I miss Bombay. They speak Marathi, which I had mastered in 2 months flat after I started living in Pune. That said, everyone in Bombay speaks a kind of Hindi which is wayyyy cooler than mine. And they definitely don't speak Kannada and the AAAAAN-Language. In Bombay, it's easy to know your Jogeshwari from your Goregaon. Why? Because they have RAILWAY STATIONS GODDAMNIT! And Powai. Everyone knows Powai even if it doesn't have a railway station. Because hell it doesn't have a railway station. And in Bombay if nothing works, there are always celebrity houses. Let's say I want to go to Fabindia in Bandra and don't know how to get there. All I need to tell the auto wallah is that I want to go to Gulzaar Saab's bungalow. And there you are. Some shopping and the smell of mangoes from Gulzaar Saab's garden (the latter of course is usually just my imagination running wild). If you want to go to the ICICI Bank in Juhu, you tell people you want to go to Amit Ji's bungalow.
Where on earth are the celebrities in Bangalore? Yedurappa you ask? Mujhe meri izzat bohot pyaari hai.
Screw Bangalore, screw the cab drivers (oh yes, I almost forgot - the cab driver fleeced me in Kannada. He charged me for 17 kms instead of 7. Ok he only tried. I am very particular about paying them extra. I probably would have in Bombay. Without any calculations. But I am beginning to realise what some locals in this city are capable of - auto wallahs or otherwise. Rude. Stupid. Complexed. Morons. The auto wallahs, the cab drivers, the bus drivers, the shop keepers, and my ex PM)
Where the f*** are the rains goddamnit???
There has to be an easier way of life. It's on days like this (and only on days like this) that all I want to do is sit at home, paint my (chewed off, non existent) nails, watch TV, and let the husband be the sole "beer winner" in the family. Just how bad/ difficult/ boring can staying home morning after morning be? Really!? Have you even heard of Big Flix?
AAAARGH!
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