"Home alone" explains this

R is traveling on work. He does not do this often. In the last couple of days, I got an idea of how my life would have been if I was still single. I am quite sure that I would have moved out of Bombay sooner than later, married or single. I am glad it did not come to this. Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with being alone, at least for most part I don't. But it is just so much better when there is a friend to come home to. Or in our case, a friend who comes home to me. Because boy he works long hours! (I have been meaning to write about work life balance for a while. The new, improved version. I will, one of these days.)

So there. For all my lectures (mostly to myself) on emotional independence and not needing a man to pay my bills, I am glad I have one. And the best part is that it is really not about paying the bills. It is more than that. Much, much more. But what did the 24 year old feminist in me know then!

Anyway, so needless to add that I have been a little bored the last few days. And I don't read others when I am bored. I read myself. Because few people can entertain me more than I entertain myself *parentheses OD alert* (especially when some of the more interesting people I knew (notice the past tense) have plagiarized content (in horrible grammar, no less!) on their now shut down blog (Yes, I am cheap. I was itching to say this :P)). I was reading my old blog posts saved in text documents and I came across something extremely interesting. It was a wishlist for the ideal man. If I would have asked for Farhan Akhtar the day I wrote that post, I would have been married to him right now. But alas! And no, I am not complaining. Farhan's voice is more annoying than the R's OCDs. So there!

Here you go.. Unedited and cringe-worthy in parts, as usual.

The endless eternal quest...


... Of finding the perfect man... I know... I just used an oxymoron there. The Perfect Man exists only in Class 10 fantasies! But then again, what's life without some hope?


Just how difficult is it to find a man who's comfortable with the independent strong opinionated women we are, but is willing to be our knight in shining armour when we need one?


Someone who will understand our need to be fiercely possessed by our work on most days,but completely understand when 10 years down the line, we want to take a break to spend more time with the kid(s)... Someone who can drive (or rather, ride.. Get?) at 160 on the highway at 3 in the morning and be secure enough to be the pillion rider when we crawl through the narrow lanes of Goa on a sunny afternoon... Someone who can charm our friends and our sisters and our moms in a minute and be great friends with our dads and brothers... Someone who effortlessly becomes a part of our day to day existence (It works both ways, mind you, we're not saying we wouldn't want to do the same!), whether it's driving to the beach cottage or eating khichdi and sleeping the weekend away... Someone who, once in the blue moon, parties like there's no tomorrow and is still completely at ease spending time with our extended families... Someone who cracks the worst jokes, instigates us and can still have the most meaningful conversations with us... Someone who listens to rock and tapri music, all at the same time...


Someone who is our emotional strength when need it the most, and trusts us enough to let us return the favour without thinking of it in those terms... Someone we can see ourselves do mundane things with, like catching all the re runs of Friends and Bollywood gossip shows with... Someone we can talk to constantly, about nothing in particular, and still be completely comfortable watching the sunset with so many words unsaid and still understood between the two of us (Thus speaketh the hopeless incurable romantic in me!! :P)... Someone we want to go that extra mile for and NOT think of it as a compromise at any point?


Are we asking for too much? Or are we still living in the 60's and just like to call ourselves Modern Indian Women? Or maybe we aren't looking hard enough.. LOL! I am sure it's the last option! I always like to end on a happy hopeful note. :)


Disclaimer: This is NOT an exhaustive list of the traits we look for in men... A few points added here, a few points less there... It's just a very general picture of the kind of long term committed relationship (not the man.. the RELATIONSHIP) we look for. And on a lighter note, what it definitely is NOT, is a matrimonial ad. LOL!

Saturday

2 people, 2 glasses, and 200 songs. Sometimes that is all it takes to party.

There is a reason I married this man.

Image courtesy: www.bartendingsfinest.com/

The Anthem

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
And cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk on part in the war,
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

This song is all I know about serendipity. And I can't tire of saying it. Who would have known, when on a sultry Sunday afternoon I realized that "I want to break free" was no longer working, when I was tired of a job I had outgrown, a boss whose face I no longer wanted to see, and a home I never wanted to come back to, that this caller tune was a signal to the universe. Calling out to someone. The other lost soul in the fish bowl. Who would have known.

Life. It bloody amazes me.

In my backyard..

Is a dreamy stretch straight out of a trippy road trip. A narrow tree lined road, followed by a narrower stretch with fields of gold running along. And I discovered it today, a year and a half after I moved in here!

1. Home just got a little more perfect.
2. Everyone cheer my sexy grey thing again!
3. Everyone cheer the awesome new teacher I have found. If only someone taught me Engineering Graphics the way I am learning cruising-along! The man is a rockstar on some days, better on others :P

And one day I will overcome my obsessive fear of roads when I am in control. One day I will also start believing I don't have murder (or suicide) on my mind :P

Where everybody knows my name

Coming to Bombay and meeting with the mad bunch I used to work with once upon a time in history, makes me realise just one thing. Every single time. That I haven't lost my touch yet :-)

This is a bunch that I belong with, the bunch that understands my jokes and whose jokes I understand. And more importantly, the bunch that actually has jokes to crack. My desperate need to be in Bombay every few months stems out of the fact that in Bangalore, a city with 5,840,155 (Google search result) people, there is just ONE person I am in sync with. And while that one person is all that is really going to matter in the big picture, it still makes me doubt my sensibilities every few months. But Bombay gives me a strange kind of reassurance that being a square peg in a round hole and not exactly being supremely liked for it, is not such a bad thing after all. If anything, it comes from a strange kind of complex and fortunately not in my head. The kind that I will never either get nor be able to explain. Bombay is the city where everyone fits. Seamlessly.

And then there is Maaaaaaaa, the shopping, the food, Daddy and his smug grins, and the baby sister and her random arguments. Am I just loving it? You bet I am!

Am I missing my Bangalore, my orange walls, the mindblowing weather, and my goofy husband, already? YOU BET I AM!

I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions

What do you call a man who munches on pistachios, and grins at cricketers on TV, munches on some lozenges, seems very tired, makes toast and jam for pre dinner snacking, and tirelessly talks the best nonsense ever?

You call him R. MY R. I have spent an entire weekday evening with him after a long time, saying nothings, grinning, and getting my leg pulled. This is what they call "rejuvenation". Funny I am not as tired as I was until yesterday. Who needs weekends, sunny days, and sleep when you have love? This common, everyday love.

It's all a blur

If a couple of years ago, someone would have mentioned 780p or 1080p, I would have told them the exact definition I had mugged for the Multimedia viva back in college. I am no Phunsuk Wangdu, sir. If it is an exam, I need to pass. If it is not an exam, I couldn't care less. That was me, 2 years ago. Or 1, rather. I couldn't tell the difference in video quality between a blu ray and CD. Or the audio quality in a tape as opposed to any other format. I was a happier person then. I could watch Friends on the worst set up, in the worst possible compressed format, all night, all year. And then R happened. And while laughing at how he wants to hear the sound of rainfall in a desert movie or how he wants to see black and white separately when he sees grey, somewhere down the line I picked up what is still OCD in my dictionary.

For the last 2 days, I am trying to figure out the optimum display setting in the new set up in the new office. What looks blurred to me, doesn't look blurred to the IT guy. Or to anyone else for that matter. I got my eyes checked recently. They are still OK. But if the written word continues to look blurred to me, I may not say the same in a month or two.

I think this machine needs a new, improved graphics card. Or I will need more Nice tablets in the medicine pouch.

The start of a new label

This, ladies and gentlemen, was the FIRST pic R saw of me (50% me, 100% tyres :P). He still married me. He didn't run away. He didn't even get scared by the caption (which of course I am not going to reveal here :P) If 10 years from now he complains about over the top madness, I can say that I had dropped hints all along.

I knew I did the right thing. Marrying him, not sending this pic. Why I sent this pic, I may never really know.

P.S. - Too many colours. In case you are wondering, this was clicked on an impromptu visit to Essel World with the sis. On a weekday, no less. And the pic was a mistake by the way. Badly timed click. Talk about coincidence :P

One for public viewing :D

My Dear Stud Boy,

Two letters in one month. Are we lucky or what!? :P

May the madness never end, may that charming smile always be in place, may the house always be full of all kinds of speakers and players and loud music and may you always hear every drop of falling water (that's an analogy, of course!) in every movie you see, and may you never miss a single vivid colour on TV. May blu ray discs soon be available more widely in India, and may we go on a holiday every quarter without fail. May the bank account keep bloating in spite of all that, and may you never be anything less than "extremely satisfied" with your work. May we never run out of kuch meetha after every meal. May more people in Bangalore learn how to drive so you don't lose your temper early in the morning and late in the evening, and may your wife start driving soon too. May your wife never, ever question the tradition of weekend karaoke at home because of the pleasures that come with it :D In short, may you always have everything you wish for, including a less whiny, lazy beewi.

Happy Birthday Stud Boy! Happiness. Always.

Loads of love,
Me

The ogling diaries - 1

As luck would have it, after quitting the company that we worked for, R and I now have offices right opposite to each other's. So often when I go down for a quick break, I see him on the other side of the road. Talking and laughing and more often than not, dispensing gyaan. I have to say this, he really is the cutest! :P (That I am saying this one whole year after the big fat Bihari wedding doesn't make you want to pull my leg, does it? If I were you, I would have. Mercilessly. But I don't want a taste of my own medicine, thank you very much.)

This reminds me of many late afternoons in college, hanging around at random places in the campus after class, to ogle at the miniscule number of cute boys around. (Judge me if you have to - I was only normal. And I studied in an engineering college with too few normal men - most of them were either too dumb or too geeky.) So I go down for a break, my head about to burst because of the migraine, and I see my newfound (?) cute boy in his dark blue shirt, surrounded by a bunch of other people, my cute boy talking passionately about what I think is advertising and market research and statistics (which is a good thing because I am not particularly enthralled by his gyaan sessions - I don't even understand half the things he says.) and I think to myself, "Not bad! Not bad at all!"

Who says you grow old/ boring/ unromantic/ stop doing stupid things after you get married? I, for one, don't.

P.S. - Last night I saw the new Uninor ad and had a complete analysis ready for R while he munched on his bhindi masala. And boy was he impressed. With himself. For managing to get me interested in what has always been his domain in our household. I generally stick with whining and cribbing and talking about more important existential questions like "what the hell is wrong with the world". (Exaggeration comes naturally to me, you must have figured that out by now.)

P.S. 2. I HAD to tell you this. I have already made it obvious that I find wedding invitation websites extremely cheesy. As if that is not all, I just saw one such website that said "We still didn’t knew it was fate trying to bring us together each time." among other things. Needless to add, my red marker is at work.

Again...

On a drunken night out with colleagues...

Mom calls every half hour and asks, "beta ghar kab tak aa jaogi?"
Husband calls once and says, "aaram se aao, have a couple of bottles more. No rush!"

When you finally do get home, in front of Dad you behave more sober than you do even when you really are sober. With the husband you behave more drunk than you really are just to watch the fun. And of course, other pleasures like pick up and some more "happiness" when you finally get home.

Damn! I should have got married the day I was born :D

Sometimes when we talk..

After a long day at work, she is rambling on and on and on about Papa John's. After a monologue that must have lasted an eternity (at least for him), all he says is, "Papa John toh mummy kaun".

Needless to add, he didn't really hear anything she said... And that is often the case with her eternity long monologues :-P

On an aside, did I ever tell you that I absolutely LOVE Windows 7? Mainly because it boots super fast.

A typical romantic evening in the life of the Manis

I can hear the rhythm of the rain outside, it's a beautiful evening, balmy if you will (what on earth does that word mean anyway?). The Mishra-Manis are merrily preparing for a grand pasta and maalpua dinner (yes, yes, we will most probably treat you to such random combinations when you visit us. We like to spread joy to those we like.), and I'm singing my favourite Debbie Reynolds' of all times... Tammy.. Tammy.. Tammy is in love!

And then Smartie says, "pichhle janam mein aap morni hongi lagta hai"

To which I give him my trademark, "Hain!?"

Baarish hote hi naachne lag jaati hain...

*Sigh* Such is life.

Curtains drop.

P.S. - On an unrelated note, this is my problem. I know now. And I'm not even a CEO or anything remotely close to that! Marshall Goldsmith - the man who can make even lessons in self improvement sound sensible without sounding annoying. I love him!

Life... Tell it like it is, Part N

After a very, very long day at work and home...

She: Do all forms of tobacco hit?
He: Ummm... Ya.
She: Gul too?
He: Ummm... Ya. Zzzzz.

10 minutes later..
She: You know... I think the most romantic line I have ever heard is "You are my co ordinate"
He: Sounds like arithmetic.
She: NOOOO!!! It's like "I am here. Now. THIS defines my existence. YOU are my co ordinate"... Know what I mean?
He: Kaun bola ye line?
She: Hum bole.
He: ZZZZZZZZZ.

This place is not quite right for the curious type. Even worse for the hopeless, innovative romantics :P

But that of course was made up for today :)

Marriage is...

... when he laughs at the jokes she cracks, even the ones she doesn't find funny
... experimental, creative cooking
... when she goes bonkers over the silliest things and all he does is listen. Intently. That's all she needed in the first place
... all the movies they have seen together in the few short months
... stupid, baseless arguments. Anywhere. Home, elevators, cars, parking lots, airports, trains. And feeling very stupid about them later
... when she first tolerates and then falls in love with depressing NGC shows and he just about tolerates all the tad bit too non-depressing reality shows
... guzzling litres of beer on their personal karaoke nights at home
... her feet finding his beneathe the comforter at night, even after a big fight
... when he spends all his morning looking for a bus route for her to commute to an interview in the other end of the city, and then he drives her to the interview instead
... waking up to his smiles
... hunting together for the best biryani in town
... that extra spoon of sugar in her tea
... finding out that the one place where she can really be herself, with all her hits and misses, is in those hugs he gives her a million times a day
... admiring together the wonders of a personal music device
... wondering why tickets have suddenly started costing twice of what they used to
... going for movies at 10 am so they cost the same as they did before marriage
... his extensive research on any gadget that she wants to buy, because he won't let her laziness get into his perfectionist ways :)
... when he pretends that she is the boss, and she revels in the glory of her recent promotion :P
... learning to put his white shirts separately in the washing machine so they don't end up pink
... sharing dreams. Career, family, children - life
... going to Mother Earth for a manic Kurta shopping spree when it was supposed to be a lazy Satuday afternoon
... when he gives up many Saturday morning cricket sessions, nets practice if you will. And willingly too... WHHHOOOAAA!!! :D
... rediscovering the good things in life they had recently forgotten. Like chocolates. Like Metallica.
... back to back episodes of 24 all night, all month
... financial planning. A lot of it!
... what he thinks is learning to live with a female :P
... unsolicited advice/ feedback. On everything starting from the amount of oil and jeera in food to her blog posts
... their conversations (and often, her monologues)... And how they always just go on... And on. And on. To soon become what he calls the background music of his life
... when she wakes up in the middle of the night and listens to his quiet snoring, looks at his childlike innocence, feels his arms around herself, and then falls asleep with a smile on her face
... everything that shared smiles can mean
... when he launches into a random monologue in Bihari or walks around the house wearing her shades and she falls off the chair laughing and wondering how someone can be so sane and so, so mad at the same time
... finding this little place with orange walls and two balconies many months ago, and making a home out of it.
... the smell of morning tea and Sunday evening coffee
... when he wonders why the bathroom in his one time bachelor pad has suddenly been smelling like a "tropical rainforest"
... going grocery shopping together, and for some strange reason, laughing through the ordeal
... when his car becomes "their" and yet the gyaan on banging the car door too hard never stops
... a little bit of knowing and a lot of discovering
... the camaraderie, the friendship, this knowledge that they are growing up together, and that, many years from now, they will grow old together and will have a history of their own
... this comfortable, effortless, everyday love...

Disclaimer: This post has been on my mind for months and I resisted. But I give in now. To the temptation of writing mush :)

Suresh Wadkar, Bhupendra, and I sing together...
"Koi manachalaa gar pakad legaa aanchal
Zaraa sochiye aap kyaa kiijiyegaa
Lagaa de agar badhke zulfon mein kaliyaan
To kyaa apnii zulfein jhatak diijiyegaa"

Smartie says - Jhatak dijiyega??? Arre ap toh usko patak dijiyega!

Let's just say Smartie knows me well :P

Creativity Central

Q- Kya haal hai?

A- Zindagi kat rahii hai, apni phat rahii hai.
Zindagi jee rahe hain, phati see rahe hain, aur beech beech mein pee rahe hain.

And no, I don't take credit for this. But still there will be copyright issues, just in case ;)

Alen Cohen once said, "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

Change, they say, is inevitable. I don't know about courage, but it sure takes some bigtime preparation. And by preparation I don't just mean manic shopping at Meena Baazaar :) Today I stand at the crossroads of my life. A place I knew I was going to arrive at, sooner than later. And somehow I wasn't aware it would also bring with itself a bundle of mixed emotions.

It's not easy to leave a world that is nothing if not familiar. A fixed amount of money making its way into the bank account every month, a boss whose moodswings I have come to understand and work my way around. A fixed routine of early morning and late evening local train rides. Familiar faces everywhere - the train, the roads, the neighborhood. The same running track around the building, even the familiar trainer at the gym! I may not have made, or kept even, too many friends here in Bombay, but the last couple of years were all about getting used to change. Learning to live with parents, where I can easily get away with moodswings, laziness, and downright SLOTH! An office where I knew my stuff, and worked my way to those Q Stars that adorn my desk.

And soon this phase will be over... All this familiarity will change. New place, new people, and a husband and a household to take care of too! Whoa, never imagined myself get married, be someone's wife and all that. I always thought I had too much of a wild streak to settle down, be the woman around the house, or even take the trouble of making changes in my life to be with someone else. And now, I am doing just that. And guess what - it doesn't feel like a compromise. It makes me happy, a tad bit unsure maybe, but very happy. Probably this comes from all the trust that has firmly made its place in my mind over the last few months. And the fact that the person I will be with after all these changes in my life, is understandable along with so many other nice things ;) Not predictable mind you, but very, very understandable. What more could I ask for, really? :)

I have been asked how I feel about all these changes. Well, I haven't consciously sat down and analysed my feelings over it. But from whatever thought I have given it, I do know I am not in the least bit sad. Or scared. I am unsure of my abilities as a wife and let's face it - a daughter in law, or sometimes of even finding my footing at the new workplace, but I am not upset. In fact I am ready for change. And all the fun that's in store for me. Us. :)

Yayyyy I am getting married. LOL!